Between
by Ginomo
Summary: After the destruction of the Enterprise-D, Worf finds himself having to choose between worlds, careers, families, and women.
1. Chapter 1

**_Author's Note: I began writing FanFic way back in 1994 after the finale of TNG. Back then, it was all about Worf and Troi for me. Once his character was moved to DS9 a year later I shifted my focus to Worf and Dax. In all this time, I just now realized that I never wrote anything that answered the question of what happened during the in-between time from when the Enterprise-D was destroyed in "Generations" to when Worf joined the crew of DS9 in "The Way of the Warrior." The story is set in that interim, with a prologue and epilogue set at the end of the "First Contact" movie._**

* * *

 **Chapter 1- Prologue**

 _2373_

The corridors of the Enterprise- E seemed narrow. Maybe that was because Worf had gotten used to the ones on Deep Space Nine. It could have been because they were filled with workers making repairs from the damage the Borg had most recently done to the ship. Or maybe it was because Counselor Deanna Troi was walking so closely beside him.

Worf was trying to hide how uncomfortable he felt but he knew that was probably in vain. There were times when he used to find relief in the fact that Deanna knew what he was feeling without him having to say it. Talking about his emotions had always been difficult for Worf and the fact that she knew how he felt without him saying a word brought them closer together. But now, it made him feel exposed. He valued his privacy more than anything else, but with her there never really was any.

"We haven't had much time to talk since you've been aboard," Deanna began, breaking the awkward silence.

"The Borg kept us somewhat occupied."

It was hard to know when Worf was telling a joke and Deanna had gotten out of practice, "Well, I have to say that I'm glad to see you decided to return to Starfleet."

"Starfleet has been my home for a long time, in all honesty it probably always will be," Worf replied.

"You're an excellent officer and Starfleet is better for having you. I guess I held out a little bit of hope that being back here with us on the Enterprise could have been your home again…" Her voice trailed off hopefully.

Worf bristled; he knew what she was implying and did not know how to respond. He'd always felt guilty about how things ended for the two of them and had avoided this moment for some time now. Worf wrestled with whether or not he'd even done anything wrong. Relationships ended, it happens to a lot of people. Deep down he knew just the fact that it was plaguing him meant he had not honored her in the way that he should have. Especially considering… No, Worf didn't even want to think about _her_ right now; Deanna might sense it and ask more questions.

Troi could sense this change in mood from him, and she knew him well enough to know that if he felt cornered he'd just clam right up. So she backed off a bit, "But I can understand why you chose Deep Space Nine. Moving into command must be an exciting change for you."

That almost got a smile out of him, "Yes, it has been. And I have learned much from Captain Sisko."

She forced a smile in return, "I'm glad," she said again. At that moment, the only thing Deanna was truly glad for was that she was the empath and not Worf. Otherwise, he would have known how much of a lie her feigned happiness for him really was.

They rounded one more corner and the doors to transporter room two swished open. Commander Riker and Lieutenant Commander Geordi LaForge were already there.

"The transport ship is ready to beam the officers aboard," the operator said as Worf and Troi entered.

"Energize when ready," Riker commanded.

To an empath, sensing emotions was very much like listening to someone speak. Sometimes the emotions were like a whisper; sometimes they were like a shout. When it came to Worf, unless he was fighting, he usually emoted in a very restrained manner. So as the two figures began to materialize on the transporter pad, Troi was shocked at what she began to sense from him. Intense feelings of anticipation, joy, excitement and affection were emanating from him. If he were anyone else, those kinds of emotions would have left him smiling from ear to ear. Worf of course remained as controlled and poised as ever, his face showing no trace of what he was feeling.

Deanna's eyes moved from him to the two officers that were now standing there. Chief Miles O'Brien stepped off the pad first and was immediately greeted warmly by Riker and LaForge.

The woman with O'Brien hung back, her hands tightly clasped behind her back. She wore a polite, if not nervous smile. Her eyes met with Worf's for just a brief moment and in that moment they exchanged nothing more than a quick, formal head nodded greeting. But just as Worf's emotions were deafening, so were the woman's. She too was filled with all those same feelings that were coming from Worf.

To an empath at least, it could not have been more obvious. They were in love with each other. Deanna Troi felt like she'd been hit with a ton of bricks.

"It's nice to meet you, Counselor,"

The woman had extended her hand to Troi, but Deanna had been so dazed with the realization that Worf was involved with this tall, beautiful Trill officer that she hadn't even heard when O'Brien introduced the two women to each other. Clumsily, Deanna shook the woman's hand, "You as well," she mumbled.

"Worf has told me so much about all of you," the woman began, "Though I already knew about you, Commander Riker," she said with a tease.

"Commander Dax, there's muchmore to me than just my dabo game," Will replied with a smirk.

Everyone laughed. Deanna could still barely breathe.

"You're going to be in so much trouble when we get back to DS9," Commander Dax said to Worf, "You know how much Benjamin loves that ship."

"Which is why he sent us to come check on the repairs," Miles added, then turning to Worf, "Well, he sent _me_ to check on the Defiant, _she_ came to check on you."

It was LaForge and Riker's turn to exchange puzzled looks. Troi already knew what that meant.

Commander LaForge spoke up, "We're still working through our own repairs, so most of our crew has taken up residency at the shipyard or on Earth while it gets finished. I'm sure we could find something for the two of you, though," Geordi said.

"I think I can find a bunk on the Defiant to squeeze into," O'Brien replied.

"Same here, I'm sure there's a bunk I can squeeze into as well," Dax said, stealing another glance at Worf.

The group headed out of the transport room. LaForge walked beside the Chief, chattering excitedly about the new ship and offering to show him around the engine room. Behind them were Worf and Dax, both trying desperately to remain professional yet wanting nothing more than to find that bunk they could squeeze into. Lastly were Riker and Troi.

After a few meters, Riker stopped her. He could tell when something was bothering Deanna, even when she tried to hide it, and he had a feeling he knew what it was, "Hey, are you okay?"

Troi looked up at him, "Me? Of course, why do you ask?"

His eyes tracked the couple that was walking ahead of them just as their hands brushed each other's and then went back to Deanna's, "You seemed a little preoccupied in the transporter room."

"Um, well, actually, I do need to get back to my office. I'm meeting some of the families of the officers that we lost in a bit."

She was lying. Deanna never lied to him, so when she did Will knew it had to be for a good reason, "Alright then. I'll see you later," he paused, then reached out and squeezed her hand, "Let me know if you need anything."

Deanna looked down at Will's hand as it grasped her own and sighed, "I will."

Counselor Troi did go to her office. It was one of the few parts of the ship that hadn't been damaged by the Borg. She sank into her chair and felt tears welling in her eyes. More than anything, she was upset at herself for letting this get to her the way it was. She knew Worf came back to Starfleet, she'd known that for some time. And she'd dealt with the fact that he chose an assignment elsewhere. She even knew that probably meant he'd move on with someone else, at least someday. All of that she could get over.

What bothered her the most was that she felt more emotion coming from Worf in that brief moment in the transport room just now than she'd ever felt from him in all the time they were together.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Author's Note: Chapter 1 took place directly after the events of the movie "First Contact" on the Enterprise-E. This Chapter (and most of the story from here on out) takes place directly after the events of the movie "Generations" and the destruction of the Enterprise-D. I do my best to match continuity and canon as best I can._**

* * *

 **Chapter 2**

 _2371_

Captain Jean Luc Picard looked at what seemed like a sea of faces looking back at him. What could he say to this group that had become his second family? For eight years they'd served together, risked their lives together and now, just like that, it was done.

"I have tried to find something inspirational to say but the words have escaped me," He began honestly, "I do not know what the future holds for this crew. Thank you to all those who gave statements and answered questions at the hearings. I know it's an intimidating process but it's standard procedure when a starship is lost."

Picard continued, "I have heard that a new _Enterprise_ is being commissioned as we speak. But who will crew it, even who will captain it, is still to be decided. I will use whatever influence I have to keep this amazing crew together but it will take time. I do not expect you to put your lives on hold," He stole a glance at Riker, "Or pass up better opportunities in the meantime."

He heard rumblings in the crowd. His senior staff already knew what he'd just said but most of the others did not.

"Again, thank you for all you've done. And for what could be the last time, dismissed."

The crowd of USS Enterprise-D officers and crew members that had gathered in that lecture hall at Starfleet headquarters began to disperse. The room was filled with a mix of feelings; uncertainty, anxiety and relief. As always, Deanna Troi had a front seat to it all. She sometimes wished she could turn it off. Being in crowds like that made it difficult to focus on one person, even if that person was right next to you.

Worf could be so hard to read. In all honesty, that was part of what drew her to him. Unpacking his tightly wound personality was a challenge Deanna didn't often get. He didn't immediately move to leave the room the way the others had. Deanna waited with him and as the room emptied, she could sense him more. Worf was feeling anxious and unsure.

"So what do we do now?" She asked offhandedly, more to the air than to Worf.

"I do not know," Worf's gaze was far away and his voice sounded despondent, "I do not know," he repeated.

"Well, for now at least, we could go have dinner."

Worf nodded, "Yes."

They left the lecture hall and began walking the campus towards the dining hall. They walked in silence at first. Deanna could tell that he wanted to say something and was searching for the words. Finally Worf spoke up, "I have been considering using this time off to visit my family here on Earth."

"I think that's a good idea. I am sure Alexander would enjoy that as well," she replied.

Worf took a breath, "I would like it if you accompanied us as well."

Deanna was stunned, "Really? Worf, I-"

"If you have other plans or simply would rather not, I completely understand," he added quickly.

"No, no. I would love to," Deanna looped her arm in his and squeezed it, "I'd love to."

Worf stopped once he realized they were alone. Gently he placed his arm around her waist and pulled her close, " I will let my parents know we are coming. You know, Russia gets very cold at the time of year."

Deanna smiled up at him, "I'm counting on you to keep me warm, then."

A small smile formed on Worf's lips just as he brought them down onto hers. Anxiety was replaced by contentment and Deanna could feel his body relax in their embrace.

"I am going to go get Alexander and we will meet you in the dining hall," Worf said quietly.

She nodded, "I'll see you there."

The two parted. Deanna walked away with a bright smile on her face. This was a big step, a very big step. She was starting to feel a little nervous herself at the idea of meeting his family. She had no idea what to expect but was excited to find out what was in store.

"Deanna!"

The ear to ear smile that was on her face faded almost instantly. She knew that voice anywhere and though she usually welcomed it, right now it was the last one she wanted to hear.

Her face didn't show that though. Troi put on her best smile, turned and said, "Will! Where are you headed?"

Commander Riker jogged a few paces to catch up to her. The warm sun put a slight sheen of perspiration on his forehead and for a brief moment she swore she saw a gray hair glistening, "I was looking for you actually."

"Oh? What can I do for you?"

He put on his most boyish grin, "Wanna go to Risa with me?"

She was stunned, "Wh...What?"

"Or maybe not Risa. If you were planning to go back to Betezed, I'd love to come along. It's been awhile since I've seen Mrs. Troi."

Deanna still could not believe her ears. Where had Will been the last seven months? Clearly he knew she and Worf were together. When they first got serious, Worf told Deanna he wanted to approach Riker to essentially ask his permission for the two of them to see each other. Deanna was adamantly against it. Will already acted like he owned her, she didn't need Worf validating that idea, "You're joking."

"Not at all," He replied, still grinning and standing entirely too close to her. Will knew what he was doing. He'd stood by and watched this thing with Worf go on for much longer than he'd ever expected. It was time to take back what was his, "Come with me," he paused before lowering his voice to almost a whisper, "I still owe you that trip to Risa."

Deanna gasped at the reference. Now she was getting angry. How dare he bring that up, after all these years! She managed to keep her composure, though, "Worf has invited me to go with him and Alexander to spend some time with their family here on Earth."

Now it was Riker's turn to be stunned, though he couldn't let her see that, "Worf's from Russia, right? Get's pretty cold there. Nothing like the endless sunshine of- "

"I am not going with you to Risa, Will. Worf and I are…" her voice trailed off as she struggled to find the words.

"What are you and Worf?" Will asked, an air of challenge in his voice.

She steeled herself, "We are together. You know that."

"I've seen you two together. But I've seen you and Data together, too."

Deanna crossed her arms, "I'm not playing this game with you Will. You know Worf and I are seeing each other. And besides, I already agreed to go with him."

"So if I'd asked you first you'd be going to Risa with me?"

Deanna frowned, "That's the thing, Will, you were first. And second for that matter. Worf got to me _last_ , and that's what's important."

Will lowered his eyes; he was out of witty things to say to charm her back to him.

"You know what you remind me of, Will? You're like a child who plays with a toy for a while and then tosses it aside. The toy is completely forgotten until you see someone else pick it up. Then, inexplicably, you want it again."

"It's not that simple, Deanna. You and I are..."

"Are what? What are we Will?" now she was challenging him to answer.

Riker was silent. He wasn't expecting this from her. She was angry and hurt and most of all, she wanted him to know it.

His eyes searched hers, trying to find that little spark that was always there, had been there since the day they met, "We are," Will dropped his voice to a whisper again, "We are Imzadi."

"Don't you ever use that word again," Deanna's voice was almost venomous, "You don't think I know that? You don't think I still see it, feel it, every time I'm near you? I simply cannot keep doing this with you," she took a breath, and composed herself, "I am with Worf now and things are going very well. You and I have a connection, but I need more than that, I need a commitment. And I have never been able to get that from you. So no, I will not be going to Risa or Betezed or anywhere with you," she paused, "But thank you for asking."

Without another word Deanna Troi turned on her heel and walked the other way. Will Riker stood there, dumbfounded. She was absolutely right about all it it. He liked the security of keeping her in his back pocket, but the freedom of never having to commit. He took her for granted, assumed she'd always be there whenever he was ready. Even this thing with Worf, Will figured once he was ready to step back in that it would be over. What a fool he had been. And now she was walking away from him and towards a man who didn't know how _not_ to commit. Worf was loyal to a fault, he could hate Deanna but would never leave her lest he risk dishonoring her.

Will stood there, realizing that with the Enterprise gone, they could be reassigned and he might not even see her again. He'd had her right there, the love of his life, for eight years. And he never acted on it.

William Riker knew he didn't deserve another chance with Deanna Troi. But he also knew that if he got it, he wouldn't give up until she was his wife.

* * *

Helena Rozhenko walked through her modest home one more time. It has been a long time since Worf had been home, and then when he told her he was bringing a friend, a _female_ friend, Helena could hardly contain herself. She worried endlessly about her youngest son and the idea that he might be on the path to finding happiness with someone made her heart swell. She needed everything to go as perfectly as she could. He hadn't give her much notice, there were a dozen things she would have done had she known Worf was coming home sooner.

"You are fussing too much," Sergey scolded.

"There is no such thing as too much fussing for Worf. How often does he bring a woman home to meet us?"

Her husband Sergey conceded from his spot in his favorite chair. It gave him the perfect view of anyone coming up the road to their house. In the distance he saw three figures materialize, their forms contrasting against the white snow. With a quiet groan that showed his age, Sergey hoisted himself from his chair, "Well, it will have to do because they are here."

Helena virtually dashed to the door of their countryside home and stood on the porch as her son Worf, grandson Alexander and the woman Worf told her about ascended the stairs. Alexander was the first to reach out and hug her, "Grandmother!"

"Oh, Alexander!" she exclaimed, "You grow so fast, you are like a different boy every time I see you."

"I'm as tall as you now," he said, his voice cracking a bit under the changes of adolescence.

Next up the stairs was Worf, "Mother, Father, I would like you to meet Counselor Deanna Troi. Deanna, these are my parents."

"Call me Helena, and this is my husband Sergey," she said, reaching out to to hug Deanna, "How are you?"

"Cold," Deanna admitted honestly.

Sergey laughed from behind his wife, "Come inside, all of you."

They all went into the house and as they were removing coats and setting down bags, Sergey whispered to Worf, "She's beautiful,"

Worf smirked at his father, "Of course she is."

That made Sergey laugh again, "So how long will you be with us son? We get to see you so rarely," he asked as she sat right back into his spot.

Worf remained standing, "Our ship has been destroyed. The truth is, Alexander and I do not have a home right now."

"This is your home for as long as you need it," Helena added.

Alexander spoke up, "Then can I have your room upstairs, Father?"

"No," Worf answered quickly. Worf loved that room.

"You can stay in Nikolai's room," Helena said, "I know you just got here Worf, but perhaps you and Alexander could bring in some wood for the night. It's only going to get colder and your father cleaned out the fireplaces just for you."

Worf smiled, "Of course, Mother."

Worf and Alexander put their overcoats back on and headed out the door. Helena turned to Deanna again, "Let me show you where you will be staying."

Counselor Troi followed Worf's mother as she ascended a narrow staircase. At the top was a door that Helena opened, revealing a big open space that looked very different from the rest of the house, "Worf pretty much built this room himself when we moved here from Gault. He wanted his own space and Sergey and I knew he needed it. He even built another fireplace up here so that he could keep it lit whenever he was here. He loves fire, but I'm sure you know that."

Deanna walked around the room and felt like she'd been let into a secret part of Worf's life. She'd been in his quarters on the Enterprise countless times, but this was different. This room was just as neat and orderly as the one on the Enterprise and was also an eclectic juxtaposition of Klingon and Human culture. For a moment, she felt like she shouldn't be here, that she was looking in on something Worf wanted kept private.

"Thank you," Deanna finally said.

Helena smiled, "You're nervous."

"Yes," she admitted.

"And not just about meeting Sergey and I."

Deanna laughed, "Worf never told me you were an empath too."

Helena smiled, "Worf is difficult. But he is worth it," she paused, "I am going to let you settle in. I'll see you in a bit."

Troi walked over to the window and looked out. She had only seen snow a handful of times in her life and the white was blindingly bright. Out there in it were Worf and Alexander. Deanna watched intently as Worf swung an axe over and over breaking the big logs Alexander brought him into smaller ones. It was like a different person had beamed down to this secluded, cold and snowy place with her. A person who build attic bedrooms and chopped firewood and smiled at his parents. Deanna didn't know this Worf, but he was eager to learn all she could about him.

* * *

Nightfall came quickly at this time of year. It had been a good day, better than either Worf or Deanna has expected. The inevitable awkwardness of bringing a woman home faded quickly and in no time, Troi felt like part of the family. Worf wondered how much of her empathic abilities played into that, but he didn't question it.

The rest of the house was quiet. Worf's parents had long fallen asleep and Alexander had gone to spend the night with old friends. Deanna sat on the edge of the bed in Worf's attic sanctuary. Worf was there was well, kneeling in front of the fireplace and carefully arranging the logs he'd split himself and filling the spaces with kindling. They could both hear the cold wind howl outside the window.

"The environmental controls should do a good job of keeping the cold air out," he began, "I do this because… well, I do not exactly know why I do this," he said.

"Yes you do. You do it because you love fire."

Worf's eyes were fixed on the small flicker of a flame, "I do. It has always brought me calm and focus."

Deanna ran her hands over the furry bed covering, "I've never felt anything like this, what is it?"

Worf stood, "It is the pelt of a Russian brown bear."

"Is it real?"

He smirked, "Oh yes."

The fire grew. They were both quiet for a moment as they gazed into it.

"Thank you for bringing me here," she whispered.

"I am glad you came," Worf answered sincerely. The low rumble of his voice sent chills through her, despite the heat of the flame. Deanna rose to her feet and stood before him. They had been together as a couple for quite a while now and they'd shared just about everything in that time, everything except… this. Whenever they got close, really close, Worf's guard was always up just enough that things never proceeded beyond a kiss and a hug good night. He never let her in all the way. Deanna didn't push, she respected that he was not ready to take the last step with their relationship. But as the months went on she wondered if he would ever be.

Deanna was not the only one keenly aware of what they had not yet done. Worf told himself that he was keeping to Klingon traditions- mating was reserved for the person you intended to marry and they had not spoken of taking that step. In reality, he knew it was much more than that. As much as he hated admitting it to himself, he was afraid.

"I... I am going to let you get some sleep. The fire should last most of the night."

"Where are you going?"

"I can sleep on the couch. I think it would be more appropriate."

Deanna could feel that guard slowly building up, "You know," she began, "I told you I'd need you to keep me warm."

Worf swallowed the lump his throat. He really did not want to sleep on the couch and he knew she knew that, "I built the fire, did I not?"

It was her turn to smirk, "That's not what I meant."

As they stood together in that dark room, firelight dancing around them, Troi had a feeling tonight would be different. She took his hand in hers and slowly walked him back to the bed, her eyes never leaving his. All at once, Deanna sensed the one thing that was holding him back from her.

"You don't have to be afraid," she whispered, with as much sincerity as she could muster.

Normally, the insinuation that he was afraid of anything would have made Worf furious. Hearing it from Deanna did the exact opposite, "I do not wish to hurt you," he admitted honestly.

"Oh Worf," Deanna reached up and touched his face. She'd done some research on Klingon mating and she knew what she was getting herself into, "I know you don't. And I trust you, completely."

It was as if those words were all he needed to hear. The next thing she knew, Deanna could feel Worf literally sweeping her off her feet and placing her gently onto his bed. Worf's imposing frame loomed over hers the same way Will's had once upon a time.

 _Dear God, not now_ , Deanna scolded herself. _Not now_. She needed to get _him_ out of her head. As Worf's lips moved to the curve of her neck, Deanna's eyes were drawn back to the fire. Worf's fire. The one he built for _her_. She could feel Worf's strong hands fumble with the clasps and closures of her clothes. Worf's hands. Deanna let her eyes close and a sigh of pleasure escaped from her lips just before they were silenced by his. The fur felt exhilarating against her bare skin, but his bare skin on hers felt even better. This is what she had waited for, this was what they both needed.

The shadows their bodies made in the firelight were unlike any that attic room had seen before.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Several days had passed at the Rozhenko homestead; life there was quiet and simple, which was a welcome respite for two busy Starfleet officers. This morning when Deanna woke, the spot next to her in the bed they shared was empty (Worf never did make it to the couch he'd planned to sleep on). She knew Worf was an early riser, so she collected herself and headed down the stairs to find him.

"Good morning," Helena said with a bright smile. She barely looked up from her work of kneading what looked like some type of dough on her kitchen table, "There is fresh coffee, still hot," she said gesturing to a pot on the counter.

"Helena, it amazes me that you cook like this every day."

"Oh, I don't do this every day," she said, "The replicator gets used most of the time when it's just Sergey and I. But for my Worf, and for Alexander," Helena smiled, "And for you, I cook."

Deanna blushed, "Does Worf prefer this?" She asked as she took a seat at the table, a cup of steaming raktajino warming her hands.

"Oh yes. Klingons do not eat replicated food unless they have to. At least, that's what Worf likes to tell me, though it's probably just because he likes the taste better. So when he is here, I cook."

Deanna shook her head, "In all my life I have never cooked a single thing."

"Well then, maybe it's not so important to him after all," she said with a reassuring smile, "We farmed our own food for many years when we lived on Gault. Worf grew up on fresh air and fresh food."

"Gault… is that here on Earth?"

Helena stood erect and stretched her back, "Goodness, no. It's a small Federation colony, it's where we first lived when Worf came to us."

"Oh, I see," Deanna could sense that Helena was surprised she didn't know that, "But then you eventually came to Earth?"

"Yes," Helena paused as she pressed the dough ball into a pan, "Worf has not spoken of our time on Gault to you? Or of why we moved to Earth?"

Mrs. Rozhenko's tone had changed. She was being cautious of her words, trying to see what Deanna knew so as not to reveal too much, "No, he has not. I guess I assumed he always lived here on Earth with you."

"No, not always, Sergey and I are from Earth, we met in this very village a lifetime ago. We left when he joined Starfleet. We eventually settled on Gault and did not return here until Worf was about thirteen years old," one more probing pause from Worf's mother, "And he has never told you why?"

"No," Deanna answered honestly.

"Well, it is not something I need to speak of. He tells me I talk too much anyway."

Sensing how uncomfortable this, whatever _this_ was, was making her, Deanna changed the subject, "Where is Worf, anyway?"

Mrs. Rozhenko placed the pan into the oven, "He left at dawn and took Alexander with him. I tried to talk him out of it," She shook her head, "It has been years since he's been in those woods, and never with Alexander. But he is as stubborn as anyone I have ever known."

"They're in the woods?"

Helena pointed out the window to a thick row of trees 100 meters beyond the house, "Back there, it goes on forever. They're hunting."

Deanna gasped, "Hunting? Animals?"

Helena laughed, "Well, not people! When we first moved here it scared the neighbors to no end to see Worf walking around with whatever animal he'd just killed. That is until he started giving away the fresh meat and pelts, then they loved him."

Counselor Troi was truly taken aback, "Why would he do such a thing?"

Her reaction was a little unsettling to Worf's mother. Helena instantly defended her son, as she was always quick to do, "Worf has been hunting as long as I can remember. On Gault, he and his brother and father would go. Nikolai never much liked it but Sergey did. When we moved here, Worf preferred to do it alone. Sometimes he would be gone for days in those woods. There was one time I was sure he'd been killed but three days later he showed up with a full grown bear and claw marks all along his leg."

The bear pelt they slept on. Deanna couldn't believe it. Her mouth fell open at the realization.

"Worf is a Klingon. I don't always understand all the things he does or the instincts he has, but I love my son. If this is something he needs to, I support it as I always have," her words were biting and finite. She was not going to allow this woman to question her son, even if she was in a relationship with Worf.

Deanna got the message loud and clear, "Yes, of course. I agree."

"They will probably be gone most of the day, but with you here I doubt he will stay out overnight. Hopefully he gives me enough time to cook whatever he does bring back."

The two weren't gone very long at all. Early in the afternoon, while Deanna was curled up in a cozy chair with a book, she could see two dark figures coming out of the trees and trudging through the snow. Sergey had spotted them as well and went to the door, "Helena, they're back. And they've got dinner!"

He threw open the door and the cold air filled the room. Deanna stood and watched from the porch as the blood of the animals Worf and his son had killed stained the pristine white snow.

"Grandfather, I got one too!" Alexander exclaimed as they drew closer to the house. His face was beaming. Over his shoulders was a small animal Deanna didn't recognize, but she could see it's lifeless eyes as if they were staring right at her.

Helena joined Sergey and Deanna on the porch. The three of them looked down at the two Klingon men and their fresh kills, "And it looks like you did pretty well yourself, Worf."

"Yes, Mother," Worf replied, "It has been a while but we did well."

"And it's been awhile since I dressed a fresh deer. It's a lot of work and I am not as young as I used to be, you know."

"Then we will help you."

"Good. Take them around the back,"

"Yes, Mother," Worf replied again. He hoisted his animal back across his broad shoulders and stole a glance at Deanna, who had been completely silent. He'd walked up to the house with his son feeling triumphant, but just a brief glance at her face turned that feeling to something else. He felt embarrassed. Deanna would never understand this, and would certainly never approve. Worf silently scolded himself for not thinking of that before traipsing off into the woods this morning. Maybe his mother could just give it away to the neighbors like she used to years ago

* * *

Dinner the night of the hunt had been awkward. Deanna, politely of course, declined any of the meat. She had never eaten fresh meat, only replicated, and she wasn't sure she could stomach it. Deanna commented on how killing innocent animals when it wasn't necessary seemed inhumane to her. Helena reminded her that Worf was not Human. Whether or not she intended it, he felt judged by her and as a result Worf's emotions that evening ranged from embarrassment to annoyance.

When he woke up the next morning, Worf decided he needed to reset things somehow. Things had been going so well that he didn't want this to somehow upset that. Worf offered to take Deanna into town for lunch and she happily accepted.

The small town was unlike any place Deanna Troi had ever been, it looked as if it hadn't been touched by progress in four hundred years. Despite the cold, the inhabitants walked casually through the streets, all humans who reminded her of Worf's parents. Not a single alien and certainly no Klingons. That is, except for Worf. She could feel the eyes on them as they walked. Troi stole a glance at Worf, he didn't seem to notice. That, or he was just used to it.

The restaurant, like most everything else here, was small and unimposing. But it was warm and that's all Deanna really needed right now. They were quickly seated and Worf took the lead in ordering for them.

"You have been here before?" Deanna asked as she looked around. The establishment was about half full and just like on the street, everyone was looking at them.

"Oh yes, many times. It is my parents favorite place to come to celebrate when anything happens. When my brother got into Starfleet, when I got in, when I graduated and got my first assignment, we always came here."

"Please forgive the intrusion," came a voice that approached their table, "But I just had to come say hello, Worf."

Next to their table stood a woman about Worf's age. She was dressed modestly and spoke with the same thick accent Helena and Sergey had. She wore very little adornments but Deanna couldn't help but notice her striking green eyes and thick black hair. She also couldn't help but sense Worf's immediate discomfort. His eyes darted from the woman's to Deanna's and back again.

"Lana, what an honor it is to see you. It has been a long time."

"Too long," The woman paused, waiting for Worf to introduce her.

"Svetlana, this is counselor Deanna Troi. She and I serve together in Starfleet."

"Nice to meet you," Deanna replied, "How do you know Worf?"

Lana laughed, "Everyone knows Worf. He and I we went to school together years ago. That is, before he aced the academy entrance exams and took off for the stars. Most of us never even leave Earth. So Worf's somewhat of a local celebrity.

"That is an exaggeration," Worf said to Deanna.

Lana laughed again. Deanna sensed her laugh was designed to create an illusion of levity that was not actually there. Svetlana was actually quite nervous, "We are all proud of you. Whenever I see reports of the Enterprise in the news service I always think of you."

Worf shifted anxiously. This was a new set of emotions that Deanna was getting from him. If she didn't know any better she'd say this Lana lady was an old flame of his.

"Thank you,"

"Of course. Well I'm not going to keep you, I just had to say hello. How long will you be here?"

"I... I am not quite sure."

"Well, it's really good to see you," Lana placed a hand on Worf's shoulder and looked him right in the eyes, "Perhaps we can get together before you go."

"Perhaps."

Lana smiled politely at Deanna before walking away.

"I am sorry for that interruption," he said.

"No need to apologize… though I get the feeling there is a story there…"

Worf sighed, "It is nothing that matters now. We were practically children."

"Oh so there _is_ a story. Come on Worf, don't be shy."

He sighed, "We were school mates in our teenager years and we developed… feelings for one another. I was hesitant to act on them for many reasons but Lana was not. It turned out that I was right. When her parents found out about us, they did not approve, to put it mildly. She wanted to defy them but I could not dishonor her family."

Deanna frowned, "Did they ever say why they disapproved?"

"They did not have to, I knew why. My father was furious but I implored him to let it go. As she said, most people here never leave Earth let alone imagine their daughter will fall for an alien. And certainly not a Klingon."

Deanna didn't sense any of the heartbreak or sadness that would usually accompany a story like this. Worf had long ago accepted the fact that this was simply the way of things for him.

"It must have been very difficult for your being alone here."

"I got used to the stares and the whispers long ago. It wasn't as bad on Gault, that was a Federation outpost and though mostly human it wasn't entirely so. No other Klingons but the residents were open minded."

Deanna saw an opening to ask about that which Helena had hinted at, "Why did you leave then?"

Worf froze but then spoke very measured words, "My father had been stationed there and his time was up. They decided to come back home."

He was hiding something, something he was ashamed of. What Deanna couldn't tell was whether that shame was over something he had done or something done to him.

"That's it? Just a change in assignment?"

"Yes. My parents did the best they could for me and I will always be grateful for that." Worf's answer was definitive, it was clear he was not going to say anything else.

Deanna decided to let it go for now, "Speaking of assignments, did you see the communique from Captain Picard this morning?"

He had, but he'd been avoiding reading it, "I have not yet read it."

"Well then I'm glad I get to be the one to tell you," she began, her face beaming, "There will be a new Enterprise, the E, Captain Picard will command and he has been given the authority to reinstate his entire senior staff."

Worf' face did not reflect her excitement, "Are we being ordered back or simply given the option to return?"

"I'm not sure, but I can't imagine any of us turning it down."

Worf was silent.

"Oh my god… You don't _want_ to go back," Deanna stated rather than asked. She could read him like a book right now.

"I did not say that."

"You didn't have to."

"It is not that I do not wish to serve on the Enterprise-"

"Then what is it?"

"It is complicated...

"I'm listening."

Worf did not want to have this conversation right now. He'd brought her here to get back on common ground after the hunting incident. Talking about this was not going to help, but he also knew they needed to, "I have been considering the future of my career for some time now. When I joined the Enterprise crew I was on the command track. I got the opportunity to serve as security chief and I gladly accepted. However, after seven years of that, it is time for me to make a change."

Deanna was truly taken aback, "You have never once mentioned this to me. How long had you felt this way?"

"I did not know how to approach it. I have been thinking about it for about a year, but putting in for a transfer seemed disloyal to Captain Picard. Now that the Enterprise is gone I have the opportunity to move on."

"A year," Deanna whispered, shaking her head. She was quiet, her appetite disappearing. A moment passed and she looked directly at him, "What about us?"

Worf sighed, "That is why I did not know how to approach this. I do not want to lose what we have."

"Well, let's think about this then. What would it take to keep you on the Enterprise?"

"There is nowhere for me to go on the Enterprise. No room for advancement. At least, as long as…"

"As long as Will is there," she finished his thought for him.

"I am certain he is being offered command of his own ship as we speak, but if history proves true he will not take it. If he does, I would apply for First Officer. I know Commander Data is next in line for it, and if he wanted it the Captain would most certainly defer to him. But even still, that would allow me to move up to the position of second officer," Worf sighed, "Do not misunderstand me, it has been an honor working with Commander Riker all these years and I consider him a friend. But I cannot stay in his shadow forever."

His words hung in the air, their double meaning not lost on either of them. Maybe Worf was right; maybe stepping out of Will's shadow is what they both needed.

"Then I will come with you," Troi declared.

Now it was Worf's turn to be shocked, "What?"

"If you apply for a transfer, I will too."

"Deanna, I cannot allow you to do that. You are the counselor on the flagship of the Federation. There is no better position for you than that. It is common for Starfleet officers in relationships to serve apart from one another. We can take holidays together, or-."

"No," Deanna shook her head. She didn't want to say it, but there was no way their relationship would survive with her on the Enterprise with Will while Worf was stationed elsewhere, "I don't want to try to make it work by juggling leave schedules. I have been on the Enterprise for eight years, a change would do me good as well. We can request to be assigned together."

"Starfleet only honors that type of request for married couples," Worf replied dismissively.

"Then maybe that's what we should do."

It was hard to say who was more surprised by what came out of Deanna's mouth. She certainly didn't plan to imply that they should get married. They'd never really spoken about their future, they hadn't even decided what to do after leaving the Rozhenko's. But now that she put it out there, they had to address it.

Worf was speechless. He had given some thought to making Deanna his wife and had decided that he couldn't decide what to do. He had even avoided physical intimacy with her so as to honor Klingon tradition. When they made love the first time, Worf told himself he'd just given in to his physical impulses and that it would not happen again. That said, he had no such explanation for the second and the third times.

"Deanna, do you really mean that?"

Troi looked around the restaurant. There were a few couples, but mostly there were families. Mothers, fathers, children, even some grandparents. Deanna had spent her whole life waiting for the fairy tale, waiting to be swept off her feet by her one true love. Maybe that wasn't what she needed. Maybe what she needed was the comfort and stability that Worf could offer.

"If it keeps us together, I think we should consider it."

Worf nodded, "Alright. Let us see what happens and we will consider it."

 _Did we just get engaged?_ Deanna smiled brightly, "Yes. I think it's a good idea."

"Alexander will certainly be thrilled. You being there with us would make the idea of moving elsewhere much easier for him."

"I hope he's not the only one happy to have me."

Worf reached across the table, "No, of course not. That you would give up your position so that I can pursue my career is more than I could ever ask. I am honored to have you by my side."

Deanna looked down at their intertwined hands. She had hoped to hear him finally say that he loved her. Perhaps honor was worth more to him than love.

* * *

"Brother, it has been a long time."

Days later, Worf accepted a subspace transmission on the monitor in his parent's kitchen. To his surprise, it was his brother.

"Too long," Kurn replied. "I heard the news of what happened to your ship. Have they reassigned you to a new post?"

Worf shook his head, "Not yet."

"Then come to the Homeworld. Things for our house have never been better and you deserve to be a part of it. There is only so much that I can do, I need my elder brother here to stand with me for the House of Mogh."

"You have done a fine job of managing the affairs of our house."

"A duty that is after all yours. Our family has a seat on the High Council, and you have not even been to a session. We own lands that you have never seen, I have a wife you have not met."

"Yes, I know," Worf said defensively, "I have had duties of my own to fulfill."

"And I respect that. But those duties are done. And you are needed here," Kurn paused, "With your people."

His words hung in the subspace between them. Worf had been living in idyllic isolation here on Earth for the past two weeks. He had forced himself not to think beyond the snowy Russian village because out there were more questions than answers. Here were his parents who doted over him, his son was happy and his relationship with Deanna had grown in ways it had not before. But this was not real his real life.

Worf nodded, "Alexander and I will come."

"Excellent!" Kurn exclaimed, "We look forward to seeing you both. Qapla, Brother!"

"Qapla."

Worf stared at the black screen and sighed. His eyes wandered from the screen to the room he was sitting in. The irony of talking to his Klingon brother at his Human mother's kitchen table was not lost on him. It was the story of his life, really.

The kitchen door slowly creaked open. It was Deanna, "Are you okay in here?"

"Yes."

She slowly sat across from him, "What's going on?"

Sometimes the way Deanna always knew when something he was wrong was comforting, it meant he didn't have to put up a facade with her, "That was my brother Kurn. I am needed on the Homeworld."

"I see. When?"

"I will arrange transport for Alexander and I as soon as I can."

"Just the two of you?" she asked.

The question surprised Worf, "Yes. But perhaps you can use this time to visit your mother on Betazed."

Deanna was speechless, "I don't… where is this coming from?"

He looked around the kitchen again, "We have been here for quite some time now-"

"And I have enjoyed it."

"-But we cannot stay here forever. We must to get back to our lives."

She nodded, "Of course. This just seemed sudden, but you are right," Troi paused and took a breath, "I want to come with you."

"What?"

"You invited me here to meet your family. In the process I have learned so much about you and we have grown closer," Deanna reached across the table and took his hand in hers, "But there is still a big part of you that I don't know and that part of you is on the Klingon Homeworld."

"Have you ever even been to Qo'noS?"

"No. Well yes, when the Enterprise was in orbit. I did not go to the surface though."

Worf shook his head, "This will not be like visiting my parents here on Earth. Not at all."

"That's okay."

Worf stood, "No, it is not a good idea."

"Are you embarrassed to take me? Does your family there even know about me?"

Silence.

"That's it, isn't it?"

"You do not understand. In fact, there will be much that you won't understand."

"Then show me. Teach me."

The kitchen door opened again and this time it was Alexander. He stepped into the room and saw Deanna sitting at the table and his father standing across from her. The tension was palpable, "Hey, what's going on?"

They looked at one another. Neither spoke.

"Are you guys okay?"

"I got a call from Kurn. We are going to Qo'noS."

"We? All three of us?

More silence.

"Yes," Worf replied, his eyes focused on Deanna's, "All three of us."

A smile spread across the boy's face, "Then it won't be so bad."


	4. Chapter 4

**_Author's Note: In this chapter, I wanted to bring some reality to just how much Kurn lost when he came to Worf in DS9's "Son's of Mogh" asking for death. I also wanted to plant the seeds of discord between Gowron and Worf that would come to a head in DS9's "The Way of the Warrior."_**

* * *

 **Chapter 4**

Counselor Deanna Troi might have been able to be more aware of the anxiety her traveling companions were feeling if she weren't so consumed by her own. The transport ship _Tanaka_ was in orbit of Qo'noS, the home planet of the Klingon Empire. Only a handful of passengers were disembarking here, and that included herself, Worf and Alexander.

The three stepped onto the transport pad when their turn came, each of them with a pack of personal belongings slung over their shoulders, "We have coordinates entered to transport you to the Federation Embassy located in the First City. Is that correct?"

"Yes it is," Worf replied.

"Thank you for traveling with us. Energizing…"

When her eyes refocused, Deanna found herself in a new place. They were standing on another transporter pad, but this time instead of a line of passengers and a couple transporter operators, there was just a single person waiting for them.

"Qapla, Commander Worf. Welcome."

The woman that stood before them was Human. That surprised Deanna, she'd expected to be greeted by Klingons. She had the dark skin tone that most Klingons did but clearly was not one of them. The woman's demeanor was exceptionally poised, her hands were folded neatly in front of her and her voice was calm.

Worf stepped off the pad first, "Thank you."

"My name is Kemi Olundu, Federation Ambassador to the Klingon Empire. We have not met in person but your reputation precedes itself. I had to take the time to personally welcome you to the embassy. It is an honor to have you here."

"The honor is mine," Worf began, "This is Counselor Deanna Troi and my son-"

"Alexander," a bright smile formed on Ambassador Olundu's face, "I can't tell you how happy we are to have you here again."

Alexander looked from his father and then back to Olundu, "Did you know my mother?"

"I had the honor of serving as Ambassador K'Ehleyr's lead emissary. When she died, I was promoted to her position. Though we were grateful to hear of how your father avenged her death, her presence has been missed nonetheless."

"So you knew me when I was a baby?"

Olundu's smile returned, "Myself and several the other emissaries were like your nannies when your mother worked and we cared for you like our own. K'Ehleyr was fiercely devoted to both you and this job. I'd love to tell you the story of the day you were born, it was really something."

"I would like to hear it!"

Olundu focused her attention back to Worf before she got too wrapped up in the boy, "I'll have to save that for another time. For now, let me show you to your suite."

The four of them moved through the corridors of the massive building. The Federation Embassy was like a fortress. The architecture was distinctly Klingon, the Empire would not allow it to be built in their capital city if it looked too Federation. As a result, Federation technology was oddly juxtaposed against the Klingon aesthetic. They turned a few more corners and stepped into the main atrium of the embassy and Alexander's jaw dropped open in awe. People of more species than he could count were milling about. Families seated together, couples walking to the turbolifts, groups waiting in line to be processed. He looked up, the building seemed to go on endlessly with turbolifts whizzing from one level to the next, all bathed in the burnt red lighting that was quintessentially Klingon.

Ambassador Olundu greeted several people casually as she led them to a turbolift no one else seemed to be using. She pressed her thumb into the bioreader and the door swished open, "We used your biometrics from the Federation database to program access for the three of you to all areas of the embassy," she said, "Computer, diplomatic suite level."

The turbolift with its clear glass front took off, allowing an amazing view of the bustling atrium as it got smaller and smaller beneath them. In a few moments, the doors opened and Olundu led them to their quarters.

"This is the Ambassador Curzon Dax suite, one of the best. I know you aren't a dignitary, but I can't do enough to express how happy we are to have you."

For the first time since they materialized, Deanna spoke, "This is amazing," she said, now in awe herself. The suite was massive, but what she most impressed by the view. Floor to ceiling windows covered one full wall and afforded an amazing picture of the First City- Counselor Troi's first real view of Worf's home planet.

"This really is too much," Worf objected as they entered. He hung back near the entrance while watching Deanna and Alexander be drawn to the windows like moths to a flame.

"I have to be honest, Commander, I have an ulterior motive," Olundu began slyly.

"Oh?"

"I'm hoping I can find a way to convince you to stay here with us," she said. "There is no one better suited for a position here at the embassy than you. I know you are between assignments with Starfleet, so perhaps you will consider making this your next post. All you'd have to do is say the word and you could have whatever job you wanted here," she paused and then laughed a bit, "Probably even mine."

Worf had never considered something like this. He meant it when he'd told Deanna that he wanted to go into command, but this would be an amazing opportunity as well. His eyes settled on the two of them, who stood together at the windows amazed by the sights they saw below. This might be perfect for him, but what about them?

"I am not a diplomat," Worf replied soberly.

"Well, think about it nonetheless. You are free to move about the embassy as you please and can stay as long as you'd like. I have reserved a land shuttle for you to use to come and go, and our transporter rooms are available to you as well."

"Thank you. That is most generous."

Ambassador Olundu spoke up so Deanna and Alexander could hear as well, "There is a reception in a few days for the Orions who are here renegotiating their treaty with the Klingons. I would be honored if you could all attend."

Deanna smiled, "Thank you." For a human, Olundu sure said 'honor' a lot.

"Please let me know if you need anything. Qapla."

Worf slowly placed his pack on the floor and looked around the room. He was seriously questioning what he was doing here, and even more so what he hoped to accomplish by bringing Deanna with him. On the other hand, he had neglected bringing Alexander here for far too long. He needed this to go well for his son, and he knew having Deanna here would help that.

Worf walked over to the window and looked out with them. The view overwhelmed him, but for different reasons. He'd seen the magnificence of the First City before and didn't like to admit that it gave him mixed feelings. The main one was pride in his people, pride in knowing this was where he was from. The other one, the one he didn't like, was trepidation. He'd suffered wounds here, deep ones, and not the ones the ones that came in battle. Those healed.

Deanna slipped her hand into Worf's, "It's going to be okay," she whispered.

Sometimes Worf didn't like that his feelings were on display for her and right now was one of those times. His body tensed, "I know that. This is my home as much as Earth is," he replied, trying to convince himself as much as her.

"Of course it is," Deanna wondered if he'd ever let himself be vulnerable with her.

"When do we go see Uncle Kurn?" Alexander asked.

"I have to let him know that we have arrived. And there is no need to say Uncle, it is simply Kurn."

"He's my uncle isn't he?"

"Yes, but Klingons do not use such endearments."

"Alright," he sighed, "I'm going to go find my room." Alexander left before his father could start lecturing him about how to be a good Klingon.

* * *

The Estate of the House of Mogh was located quite a ways from the First City. Deanna wasn't sure what to expect, but what she saw before her was definitely not it. This home could not have been more different than the Rozhenko one they had left days before. By anyone's cultural definition, this place was more like a palace than a house. Worf was trying to play it cool, but he was just as surprised by his brother's home as Deanna and Alexander were.

"So, do we just knock or what?" Alexander asked as they stood before the pair of doors that were three times his father's height. Before Worf could answer, the heavy door swung open.

"Brother!"

Kurn, son of Mogh wore the biggest smile Deanna had ever seen on a Klingon's face. He rushed to his brother and embraced him heartily, "You have finally arrived. Please, all of you, come in!"

The opulence of the home's exterior was nothing compared to the inside. They entered into a long corridor of soaring ceilings, iron chandeliers and walls lined with weapons, "Wow," Alexander whispered.

"It is amazing isn't it?" Kurn said, his pride obvious, "Well, you have your father to thank for it. All of it."

Alexander gave his father a puzzled look, "Father?"

"It is complicated." Worf said dismissively.

"Your time amongst humans has left you with too much humility. This was the home of our family's most hated enemy. When your father claimed vengeance over them, not once but twice, all that was theirs became ours."

"Duras?" Alexander whispered, "This was his home?"

"The home and all the lands. Now, they are ours. Thanks to your father."

"Not just me," Worf interjected, "Kurn was instrumental in defeating the remaining Duras followers during the Klingon civil war several years ago."

"A war you had to convince me to enter. No, I cannot take credit. This is all your doing and I hope that the results please you, Brother."

"We both hope that it pleases you," A voice came from behind the four of them, a woman's voice, "Please pardon my tardiness, I was attending to matters of our house," she lifted the skirts of her heavy leather dress and bowed low before Worf, her eyes lowered in reverence, "It is a great honor to finally have you here, brother of my husband."

"Worf, I present to you my wife, J'Mila, daughter of Noprel."

"The honor is mine, J'Mila."

She rose to her feet and stood as tall as Worf did, "We have waited a long time to have you here."

Worf turned to his traveling companions, "This is my son Alexander and this…" Worf paused, he was not entirely sure how to introduce her, "This is Counselor Deanna Troi."

"Welcome to our home. The servants have prepared the morning meal for us if you'll follow me."

She led them into a dining hall fit for banquets much grander than this gathering. Worf stopped in his tracks as they entered, his eyes were instantly drawn to a huge painting that hung on the wall.

"Where did you…?" he would barely finish his thoughts as he gazed at it. Before him was the image if a Klingon man and woman, their bright red attire a stark contrast to the grays and browns that bathed the house. The painting towered over Worf and Kurn; the figures looking down on them were at least twice the size of the men gazing up.

Kurn's huge smile returned, "It was a wedding gift from J'Mila. She found an old image of our mother and father on the day they were married and found an artist to create this."

"It is magnificent."

"I too was overwhelmed when I saw it. I come here often to look upon them." Kurn paused, "I envy you Worf being the eldest. I have no memories of them."

Worf reached up as if he could touch his mother again, "I have so few memories myself," he whispered, but that was a lie. Hers was the last face that he saw, he would never forget the courage that shown in her eyes right before she was killed. He still has nightmares of that moment.

Deanna had remained quiet since they entered the home, mostly because she didn't know what to say, but also because she wanted to allow Worf to work through the flood of emotions that being here brought over him. She and Alexander stood back and watched Worf and Kurn share in this moment before the picture of parents that had been dead most of their lives. Instinctually, Alexander reached down and squeezed Deanna's hand. He had something in common with his father and his uncle.

J'Mila also watched the scene unfold and felt a huge sense of pride, "I commissioned two portraits for our wedding," J'Mila said, "That one as well," she turned their attention to a nearly identical image on the other side of the room, but this one of Kurn and J'Mila posed in the same manner and attire and Mogh and his wife.

"There is space for another one, whenever you decide to settle down and marry, Worf," Kurn added with a playful smile, "Come, let us eat."

The five of them took seats around the table and a bevy of servants began filling it with platters of food. Deanna did her best to choose her items carefully and watched closely to see what was moving and what wasn't.

"This all looks wonderful," she said politely.

"I cannot imagine our food would be appetizing to a human," J'Mila replied.

"Well, since I am half Betazoid I have a slightly different palate."

Before any mealtime small talk could begin, Kurn's wife spoke up, "So, tell me, Counselor Troi, how are you and Worf acquainted?"

"Well," Deanna's eyes met Worf's who was seated across from her, "He and I served together on the Enterprise for many years," she replied.

"One does not simply bring a Starfleet colleague to meet one's family on the Klingon Homeworld…"

It was time for Worf to speak up and he knew it, "Deanna is Alexander's soh-chim and," he paused, his eyes meeting Troi's again, "She is also my par'Mach'kai."

Kurn's eyes widened, "Why did you not say that, Brother? The two of you should be staying here on our home- _your_ home- and not some Federation Embassy. She needs to be here with our family."

Deanna didn't know what par'Mach'kai meant, but judging by the reactions of those at the table, she figured Worf just admitted that they were romantically involved. She hadn't expected him to do that and it made her blush.

"Well," J'Mila took a drink from her glass, "Then perhaps we will be adding a third portrait to our wall."

Deanna slowly was getting used to reading Worf's family. Kurn was truly and honestly happy to see his older brother and his son, for him nothing else mattered. Kurn's wife on the other hand was more complex. She had both a reverence and respect for Worf, and a healthy dose of apprehension. More importantly, she was the woman of this house and wanted to make sure Deanna Troi knew it.

"Have you and Kurn been married long?" Troi asked, shifting the focus away from questions about she and Worf.

J'Mila smiled and placed a hand over her husband's, "Kurn did me the honor of making me his wife six months ago. We were very sorry that Worf was unable to attend our wedding."

"It is no matter," Kurn interjected, "Worf had responsibilities that kept him away. What matters is that he is here now."

"I have been away for too long. How have things been for you, Kurn?" Worf asked.

"The favor of Kahless is truly upon our house. And as I said when I called, it is becoming more than I can manage on my own. We have had a seat on the High Council for three years. Our house has grown to thousands of loyal subjects that pledge their allegiance to us and our fleet of ships is growing as well."

"You have done a fine job, Kurn."

"We have," J'Mila responded for him, "And we are happy to continue doing so when you are assigned your next Starfleet post."

"Or," Kurn continued, "You could stay."

The room went quiet. Deanna and Alexander exchanged worried looks that Worf noticed right away, "We are getting ahead of ourselves. I have not even seen the rest of the house yet."

"You'll love it. After we eat I will show you the grounds. I worked hard to strip it of all signs of the Duras. It now stands as a testament to everything you both have worked so hard for."

"This was the home of Duras, the man that dishonored your family? And that killed Alexander's mother?" Deanna asked.

"Yes..." Worf answered, wondering where she was going with this. .

"And you live here? I don't know that I could do that."

"I'm glad their house is ours now," Alexander said quietly, "And I'm glad you killed him, Father. Everything that was theirs deserves to be ours."

Kurn raised his glass, "Spoken like a true Klingon. We claimed the Rite of Vengeance for all the sins committed against us by them. That Gowron deeded their lands to us was only right."

Deanna stayed quiet. This was obviously a cultural difference that she would have to adjust to. To her, the house of the person who'd done so much harm to her would be the last place she'd want to live. Yet for them, it was the only just thing to do. She cast her eyes down to her plate, where she swore she saw something move.

The rest of the meal was filled with Kurn and J'Mila telling them in on the goings on of what sounded like a small empire in and of itself.

"I have a meeting at the council chambers tomorrow that you should attend," Kurn said to Worf, "You and Alexander."

"Me? At the Klingon High Council?" Alexander asked nervously.

"Why not? You are the son of a council member."

" _I_ am not a council member," Worf corrected him, "You are."

"Only in your stead. If you were here I would naturally step aside for you."

Worf shifted nervously in his chair. That was the second time his brother and alluded at the idea of him staying on Qo'noS.

"Kurn, I think you are overwhelming your brother with all this talk. Come, let's show him what has become of the House of Mogh."

It took hours, but J'Mila and Kurn managed to show them every centimeter of the estate- inside and out. Along the way, Alexander found a group of children to play with and was off with them. Kurn and his wife were called away to deal with something, leaving Worf and Deanna to themselves.

The noonday sun was hot but the view from the rear balcony could not be missed. Worf and Deanna looked out over the rolling hills, dotted with clusters of houses here and there. Between each cluster were fields where they could see people working alongside machinery and animals.

"So all of this is yours?"

The size of it all embarrassed Worf a bit but he responded honestly, "Yes."

Troi shook her head in disbelief, "You never mentioned any of this to me."

"I did not realize the scale of it myself. I knew Chancellor Gowron granted us all the lands previous held by Duras and his family, but I never realized it was so much."

"All those people out there… they are members of your house?"

"In a way," Worf began, "Because they live and work on our land, their livelihoods are tied to ours. In order to stay here, they have to give their loyalty to us. In return we protect and provide for them. They are not the same as Kurn or myself though."

"How so? Do they have their own Houses?"

"No, they are most likely all commoners and not among the noble class like we are. As such, they are limited to how far they can go in Klingon society. They have their own families, and perhaps a few Minor Houses exist among them, but no Great Houses. They rely on the allegiance they have to us for social standing. "

"That doesn't seem fair."

Worf frowned, "It is the way of things, and has been forever. They are free to come and go as they please, we do not own them. Given that the number of people living on this land has grown since Kurn took over, I would say they are treated well and are happy to be here. There is no honor in subjugating your own people. "

There was that word again, honor. It seemed to Deanna that Worf pulled it out whenever he needed to defend a questionable Klingon practice or tradition.

"So it's Kurn job to keep all this going?"

"Actually, the responsibility is mine as the oldest. However, as Kurn said, he manages it all in my place. He and J'Mila have done a fine job."

"She is definitely proud of herself," Deanna said with a hint of sarcasm that went right over Worf's head.

"She has every reason to be. She has assumed the role of Mistress of the House with grace and dignity."

Deanna thought for a moment, "A role that would go to your wife if you were here…"

Worf looked down at Deanna, "Yes, but only if she wanted it."

Their eyes met for the first time since they landed on Qo'noS. Deanna looked out over the land and back at Worf again, "If you lived here, you'd need a Klingon woman by your side."

Worf pulled her close, "But I do not live here. I am a Starfleet officer, remember?"

She smiled up at him, "Yes."

"I know being here is difficult for you. Klingon traditions and ways of life are very different than anything we are accustomed to seeing in the Federation."

Deanna stroked his broad arms, "I am happy to learn more about this part of who you are."

After a few quiet moments, Kurn and his wife joined Worf and Deanna on the balcony. Deanna couldn't help but notice the way Worf ended their embrace as soon as his brother was in view.

"Worf, forgive me Brother but there are some men from the estate that I would like to to meet. They represent the common members of our house and frequently meet with me to discuss their needs."

"Yes. I will join you."

Kurn turned to his wife, "Perhaps Deanna Troi can accompany you as you tend to your duties today."

J'Mila nodded respectfully, "Of course."

"Thank you my love."

To Deanna, the emotions that Kurn felt for his wife were unmistakable. He adored her, loved her with every part of his being. She was the perfect Klingon wife and he felt fortunate to have her. The way Kurn emoted was in stark contrast to the restrained feelings that Deanna sensed from Worf. Kurn's feelings for J'Mila were like a shout, whereas Worf's feelings for her were like a whisper. Deanna told herself that was okay, that not everyone experienced strong emotions. Deanna told herself that just because she couldn't sense Worf's love for her as intensely as she sensed Kurn's for J'Mila didn't mean it wasn't there. She told herself that, hoping eventually she'd actually believe it.

* * *

Alexander and Worf met Kurn at the entrance to the Great Hall where the Klingon High Council met the next morning. Alexander tried his best to maintain some level of composure, when in reality he was awestruck at everything he saw. He'd never shown much interest in any of this "Klingon stuff" but just being here amongst all of this was giving him a different perspective.

"There is someone who has asked to see you before today's session begins," Kurn said as he escorted them in. After walking the long halls, they came to a chamber guarded by two of the scariest Klingons Alexander had ever seen. Inside was Gowron, Chancellor of the Klingon Empire.

"Worf! It is good to see you out of your child's uniform and dressed like a real Klingon!"

The two men locked forearms in the traditional Klingon manner of greeting and Worf ignored Gowron's predictable insult, "It is good to see you as well, Gowron."

"Worf is attending council session today as is his son Alexander," Kurn added.

"His son?!" Gowron exclaimed, "Did I know you have a son, Worf?"

"Of course you knew. Alexander is my son with Ambassador K'Ehleyr."

Alexander was terrified, it seemed like no one here could speak below a shout. But he knew he had to speak up for himself, "Pleased to meet you," he managed to say to the Chancellor.

Gowron laughed, loudly of course, "Look at that, he is pleased! Well, I suppose that's all I can expect seeing that your father keeps you around Humans more than Klingons," Gowron placed his hands on Alexander's shoulders and lowered his voice, "I only knew your mother for a short time, but her courage and fortitude were second to none. She stood up to me when a lesser woman, or man for that matter, would have cowered. How your father here managed to court a woman as she I will never know. The warriors who were there still tell the tale of how Worf avenged her death. I hear it was a glorious sight."

"Thank you," Alexander's chest swelled with pride. He understood why his father so rarely talked about what happened, but it make him feel good to hear someone speaking about it.

"So, Worf, have you taken off that Starfleet uniform for good?"

"I… I am between assignments right now."

"That's not much of an answer," Gowron replied.

"I am doing my best to convince my brother to stay here with us, but he has a duty to the Federation as well," Kurn said.

"Your first duty is to your people, it always will be! And besides, I need good allies at my side. Glorious times are ahead for the Empire and I would not want anyone, not even you Worf, to miss out on what is to come."

The four men left Gowron's personal chamber and began walking to the council chamber, "Even from a Starfleet ship Gowron, I have always served you to the fullest," Worf replied.

"You have and I have not forgotten it. I would not be where I am if not for you and I value your counsel. But I wonder how long you can keep your loyalties divided."

"My loyalties have never been divided. I will do what is right, regardless of where I am."

"That I do not doubt. And since I'm always right, you'll always be acting in my best interests!"

Worf shook his head, same old Gowron.

"So what would it take to get you to leave the Federation behind for good? You want a house as big as your brother's? Bigger perhaps?"

"Fortunes fade, Gowron, you know that."

"How about a military position then? I have heard rumblings that Kurn has been trying to grow your fleet, a General's commission in the Defense Force is what you need. That is much _more_ fitting for you than firing phasers for Captain Picard."

"Why are you so invested in me?"

"There are changes coming for the Klingon Empire, and I need everyone I can get to stand with me. The Federation does not see a threat until they are attacked. Klingons know how to strike first."

Worf frowned, "What are you speaking of?"

"Ah, I'm not giving you all my secrets Worf. Not until I know for certain where _all_ your loyalties lie."

Alexander listened intently as the adults spoke. He had yet to hear his father give Chancellor Gowron a definitive 'No' to his repeated requests for him to stay on Qo'noS. As he watched his father's face, he knew he was considering it.

Worf was relatively quiet for the rest of the day, taking in everything around him. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't tempted by Gowron's offer. It almost seemed too good to be true, command of not one but several ships. Plus the seat on the council and the lands the family already had. Gowron was right, his hopes for a First Officer posting paled in comparison.

He also didn't want to admit that the idea was intimidating as well. Worf had always imagined himself returning to the Empire to regain his family's rightful place and to live the life of an honorable and prosperous Klingon. To build his own family here on the Homeworld. Kurn and Gowron were basically handing all that to him. Why then was he so hesitant to just say yes?


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

While the men were attending the council session at the Great Hall, Deanna was spending the morning with Kurn's wife J'Mila. Worf told her she didn't have to and had given her every opportunity to back out, but Deanna was insistent. The truth was, she was curious. This was all completely alien to her and Deanna found it intriguing. So once again she found herself standing at those massive doors waiting for entry into the House of Mogh.

It was a servant that let her in this time, "We are honored to have you here. Mistress J'Mila is in her chamber and requests that you join her there."

"Thank you."

"I will show you the way. Follow me."

It surprised Deanna the level of humility displayed by the Klingon servants. She'd never before met a Klingon who bowed their head or averted their eyes from someone. It was as if they were a whole different type of people than the Klingons she knew. These were probably the commoners Worf had told her about.

The woman led her for what seemed like an eternity, but that was the case no matter where you went in this monstrosity of a house. Deanna laughed to herself, her mother would have been thoroughly impressed with Worf's social standing, even if it was in Klingon society. They rounded one last corner before coming to another set of ominous doors. The servant, Deanna really wished she knew her name, opened the doors and entered first.

"Mistress, forgive my intrusion. Your guest is here."

"Thank you," J'Mila was standing in front of a full length mirror adjusting her outfit. Deanna wondered if it were possible to pull her waistline any tighter or push her cleavage up any further, "You may go," J'Mila dismissed the servant without even looking at her.

"Good morning," Deanna said brightly.

"You know, I honestly did not think you would come," J'Mila replied still looking in her mirror. Now she was arranging her massive head of hair so that it sat on her shoulders just right.

"Why would you have thought that?"

"No reason," J'Mila said dismissively as she pulled black gloves onto her hands. She reached for a cup that sat on the table next to her, "Blood wine?"

"No, it's a little early for me, thank you."

"Very well then."

J'Mila's demeanor was quite different than it was when her husband and his brother had been there. Today, Deanna could sense the mild contempt that J'Mila had for her. She wanted nothing to do this Federation woman but she also knew that her role as Kurn's wife meant she had to deal with her. So she took another drink.

"In all honesty," Deanna began, "I did consider not coming. Worf tried to get me to stay at the embassy. But I care a great deal about him and Alexander and I want to learn more about this family."

That answer seemed to please her, "I appreciate your candor. If I suddenly found myself in your position I would hope to have to same courage you are showing right now."

"Thank you."

"So, where shall we begin…" J'Mila thought out loud.

"I would love to hear how you came to be part of the family."

J'Mila smiled, "Excellent. Why don't you have a seat so we can get better acquainted?" She motioned to a pair of black leather chairs across the room. As if by magic, another servant appeared and silently filled a pair of glasses. She then scurried over to the window and pulled back the dark heavy drapes to reveal another expansive view of the family's lands. Finally, she turned the chairs to face the windows before disappearing. As Deanna sat J'Mila handed her a drink, this time not bothering to ask if she wanted it, "You know, this is my favorite view from the house. As far as the eye can see belongs to the House of Mogh."

"Did you grow up in a family like this?"

"Even grander, if you can believe that," J'Mila began, "I am the daughter of Noprel, one of the most influential members of the High Council and a descendant of Klingon nobility with a lineage that goes a thousand years back. In addition to our considerable lands and fortune, my mother was fortunate enough to bare seven children for my father. I am their sixth."

It was clear that talking about herself was J'Mila's favorite topic and Deanna knew just how to stroke her ego, "Then you must have been perfectly suited for the life as a council member's wife."

"Yes, though being part of such a large family can have its disadvantages as well. My brothers will inherit everything and have already laid claim to that which is theirs. My options as a woman are solely based on who I marry. The only way to maintain my station in life was to find someone of similar station."

"So you married Kurn?" Deanna surmised.

"When Kurn joined the council there were those who opposed his presence, with his house having been previously disgraced and all. My father, however, admired his honor and courage. He took him under his wing and mentored him. I saw an opportunity and positioned myself in such a way that Kurn couldn't help but fall in love with me," she replied with a smirk, "And now I am married to a council member and the Mistress of his House. Quite the elevation in status for a sixth born daughter."

"Please, correct me if I am wrong as I am still learning all this," Deanna began, "But since Kurn is the younger son, technically Worf is the leader of the house is he not?"

That changed J'Mila's mood quickly, "Technically, yes."

"I see."

J'Mila shifted in her seat, "That would only be an issue if Worf decided to live on the Homeworld. And even then, I would think Worf would have enough respect for what Kurn and I have done in his absence to work with us and not usurp us," she narrowed her eyes, "I would hate for this House to ended up… divided."

 _Wow_ , Deanna thought, _This woman meant business_ , "Oh, me too. Just as I am sure whomever Worf chooses to marry would defer to you."

"If that woman is of the Federation, like you, then yes. But if she is Klingon..." J'Mila took a drink, " _I_ certainly would not step aside and allow the wife of my husband's younger brother to take my rightful place."

"I got the impression that Kurn wants Worf to stay…"

"You are a telepath are you not?"

"Empath," Deanna corrected her, slightly caught off guard by the question, "Which only means I can sense emo-"

"I know what it means… and you are correct, Kurn does want Worf to stay. Having his brother here and their family whole has been his desire since he discovered he had a brother," J'Mila lowered her voice and a look of despondency came over her, "He would hand all this over to Worf if it meant keeping him and Alexander here, no question."

It was clear J'Mila did not feel the same, but the profound respect she had for her husband kept her from saying so.

"Well, Worf is making plans to further his career in Starfleet so I don't think you have to worry about us intruding on the life you've built here."

"You are sure of this?"

"Yes. Though perhaps we need to make more time to visit."

"Visit. Yes, I think that would be best," J'Mila stood, "Come. I am meeting with the prospective wife of one of members of our House. You can accompany me."

* * *

The thing that surprised Deanna the most about being on the Klingon Homeworld was the opulence. They loved to fight and embraced death the way others embraced life, but they also loved tradition and formality. Tonight, as the Klingon consulate hosted the Orion diplomatic delegates, that tradition and formality was on display. There were opera singers, performers doing battle reenactments, and the wine and food seemed never ending.

These types of things made Worf uncomfortable. He was a soldier, an explorer, an officer, but not a diplomat. But Ambassador Olundu insisted he come and he didn't want to be rude. Both Deanna and Alexander seemed to be enjoying themselves, so that allowed him to hang back and hopefully go unnoticed. At least, as unnoticed as a Klingon in a Starfleet uniform could be.

The Ambassador, however, did notice him. She found her way to Worf's corner of the room, "You've been quiet all evening."

"This is not exactly my area of expertise."

"Well, I appreciate you coming nonetheless. You know, I think if you give it a chance you might find diplomacy a noble calling."

"One you seem eager for me to answer."

"It's not all banquets and dress uniforms. The experience and knowledge you have of both the Federation and the Empire would be invaluable around here.

Worf didn't respond.

"Think about it," she said sincerely, "If you'll excuse me."

* * *

Later that night after the celebration has ended, Worf, Deanna and Alexander headed back to their suite. It had been a long day for Alexander, Worf had taken him back to the First City and they toured all the most important historical sites. Deanna had spent the day at the consulate meeting with the resident counselor and discussing the nuances of performing his duties here. Alexander was asleep the moment his head hit the pillow.

As Worf closed the door to his room, Deanna spoke, "I think he had an amazing day. He couldn't stop talking about all the things you saw with him."

"I should have brought him here a long time ago. I think being here has been good for him."

She smiled, "We will definitely have to make more time to visit. I told J'Mila the same thing the other day."

"You have not said much about what happened between the two of you."

The two of them sat on the couch together, the lights of the city illuminated the view before them "Not much happened, really. She talked- a lot- and I listened. And learned."

"Learned?" Worf asked.

"I learned more about the responsibilities of running a Klingon House. She and Kurn seem to be very well suited for it," Deanna laughed a bit, "On the other hand, I cannot imagine you staying here and playing 'Lord of the Manor,' especially when you could be commander on a Starfleet ship."

"I could command a Klingon ship. As Kurn said, we have begun amassing our own fleet."

"How does that even work? They are Klingon Defense Force ships, yet they pledge allegiance to you and your brother?"

"The Defense Force actually owns very few ships itself. Most are part of personal fleets held by the noble and ruling houses such as our own. Our first duty is to the Empire, so personal fleets can be called into service at any time. But aside from that, they do the bidding of the House that oversees them."

"It seems like an unorganized way to run a military."

"It has worked for us for generations."

"I suppose," Deanna paused, "Though one thing was clear, J'Mila is not going to miss up when we go."

Worf frowned, "What do you mean by that?"

"Kurn may want you to stay, but she does not. She was defensive the entire time I was there, and all but threatened to split the house in two if you tried to take over."

"You must have been mistaken. J'Mila is an honorable woman, the epitome of what a Klingon woman should be. She has has done nothing but serve our House and Kurn is fortunate to have her."

Worf certainly thought highly of Kurn's wife, "Worf, I could sense it as plain as the ridges on her forehead."

"No one is infallible, not even you."

Now she could sense Worf's defensiveness, which was always there in part, but was growing right now, "I mean no disrespect. It's just kind of obvious, her position in the family is based on the fact that she and Kurn get to act as the leaders of your House even though that's your role. Kurn does not seem threatened by that at all, in fact he welcomes handing over some of the responsibility to you. But J'Mila…"

"Her position would only be challenged if I were to marry." Worf stated.

Deanna could feel an argument coming on and she had no desire for that. "It doesn't matter anyway, we both have positions waiting for us."

"I have not yet answered Captain Picard."

Her eyes widened, "Then you have put in for a transfer? You didn't mention to me-"

"I have not done that either," Worf answered, "I am going to request a leave of absence so that I can weigh my options."

"The option of going back to the Enterprise versus pursuing your own command?"

"Yes," Worf rose to his feet and went over to the window. He stood before it and spoke more to it than to her, "But also the option of staying here."

"When did you decide this?" Deanna whispered.

"I have not _decided_ anything."

"But you're considering it?"

Worf turned slightly to face her, "It has been my goal to eventually return to the Empire my entire life, I just needed the right opportunity. This could be it."

"Worf, just last week we were talking about getting married. Now you're saying you might want to stay here? And you didn't think I might want to be in on that decision?"

" _We_ were not discussing marriage, _you_ were."

That took Deanna aback, "I was trying to come up with ways for us to stay together! You did not object at the time."

"Not saying no is not the same thing as saying yes. Just as I have not said either to my brother or to Ambassador Olundu."

"So we all get to exist in limbo while you take your sweet time finding yourself?"

Worf did not like being questioned, especially about his personal life. He had been trying to find himself since the day his parents were killed on Khitomer. It was all so very complicated, and right now he was resenting the fact that Deanna felt like she should have a say in what he did. It was hard enough for him making decisions for himself and his son, but adding her into the mix was too much, "Whatever I do next will impact the rest of my life. And not only mine but my son's and possibly yours as well. I cannot act hastily."

"I never knew that you wanted to come back here," she whispered, "And I should have known that."

"How could you have? It was I who never shared that with you."

"But if it's something you have wanted to do your entire life, shouldn't I have known it?"

"I am certain there are things about you that I do not know either."

Deanna was quiet. There definitely were, and that was part of the problem, "That's not a good thing, Worf."

Worf realized how upsetting this must be for her to hear. That wasn't his intent at all. He walked back to where she sat, and took a knee on the floor in front of her. He took her hand in his before speaking, "I care for you a great deal. As I said before, we can find a way to make this work between us, even if we are not living in the same place."

Deanna looked down at their hands and nodded. She had been here before. When Will got his assignment on the Pegasus, he chose it over her. He promised her they'd make it work, because he cared for her. And of course, they never did. He had been willing to sacrifice what they had for himself, and now Worf was about to do the same.

* * *

Deanna Troi activated the monitor on the desk in their suite at the embassy. A familiar face appeared and regardless of all they'd been through, his smile always made her smile.

"Will. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"You are on tough lady to find, Deanna. I had to use all my command level clearances to track you down only to find you in the last place I'd think to look. What in the world are you doing at the Federation Embassy on the Klingon Homeworld?"

"I'm here with Worf and Alexander."

"You told me you were going to see his family on Earth, no Qo'noS."

"He has more than one family."

Riker's brow furrowed with worry, "How are you doing? The Klingon Homeworld can be a very rough place. Are you okay?"

"Yes, Will, I'm fine. Is that why you called, worried I found myself on the losing end of a bat'leth match or something?"

"I called because as the executive officer of the Enterprise-E crew assignments are my responsibility and I haven't heard back from you, or Worf for that matter. Planning to set up housekeeping there with him?" Will asked with a playful smirk, though deep down he was terrified the answer would be yes.

Deanna's heart sank, "So you're returning to the Enterprise?"

"Well don't sound so excited. I have said a dozen times, I'd rather be second in command on the flagship than the leader of some no name cruiser."

She knew what that meant, then; Worf would most likely _not_ go back, "I figured after all these years Captain Picard would have convinced you to move on."

"Then he'd have to pick a new first officer."

She didn't say anything.

"Wait a minute…" Will was piecing this together. Deanna and Worf were the only ones who had not committed, but hadn't applied for transfers either, "Does Worf want it?"

"I, I can't speak for Worf," Deanna stammered.

"Sure you can."

"Well, even if he did you'll never give it up so what does it matter?" Deanna replied, her voice showing her exasperation.

"So then what are you going to do?"

"I… I don't know yet. It depends."

"On what Worf does." Will stated.

"On several things."

"Deanna," Will shook his head, "So you're willing to just pick up and go where he goes then? Regardless of what it means for your career? Tell me, would he do the same for you?"

That surprised her, "What?"

"Granted, an officer like Worf could probably command a good posting but still. You're willing to follow him, but would he follow you?"

"You're reading too much into all this. Worf has not committed to returning to the Enterprise because he is weighing all this options, that's it."

"And why haven't you? What better posting for a ship's counselor is there than the flagship?"

"I am weighing my options as well."

Riker sighed, "I'm gonna miss you like crazy if you go someplace else. I don't know what I'll do without having you here."

Even across the light years of subspace, Deanna could feel the desperation in Will's voice. He was truly afraid of losing her. What surprised her was that she felt the same way, she really didn't want to be away from him. They might not be together anymore but they were friends and she didn't want to be without that relationship. She could talk to Will in ways that she couldn't with anyone, even Worf. He knew her more intimately than anyone in the galaxy and she would miss that connection greatly if it were gone.

"I would miss you too," she admitted.

"Dammit," he said as he pounded the desk, "You know, I could get Captain Picard to order you back," Will was grasping at whatever he could.

"You could," she replied cooly.

His large shoulders sagged, "No, I wouldn't do that to you. And neither would the Captain."

Deanna was silent.

"Do you love him, Deanna?"

Deanna's lips parted to reply, but no words came.

"Do you love him?" Will repeated.

"You have no right to ask me something so personal," she finally said.

"Just tell me how in love you two are and I'll leave it alone."

"I am not the same young girl you met all those years ago," Deanna huffed, "The decisions I make now are based on more than fleeting passion. I need more than that and I have to think about my future."

"That means no, you don't, but Worf is safe. Loyal to a fault even. I suppose the fact that you feel you need to cling to someone like him is my fault."

"Leave it to you to find a way to make my relationship with Worf all about you."

"Isn't it, though?"

His words hung in the air like a ton of bricks. Will Riker always knew just what to say to push her buttons. Moments before she was thinking about how much she'd miss him, and now it was all she could do not to hit the 'end transmission' button, "I need to go. I will contact you shortly to give you my decision."

With one quick motion, she did hit that button and the screen went black. What upset her most wasn't simply what Will said, it was that what he said was right.

* * *

The Ambassador Curzon Dax suite at the Federation Embassy was quiet. Alexander had gone to bed and Worf assumed Deanna had as well. As he sat on the couch and looked around, Worf wondered if the grandeur of this suite was a reflection of the person it was named after. His gaze eventually settled on the windows in front of him. It was as if the First City was framed like a life sized painting before him. He'd come here hoping to gain some perspective on what he wanted his next move to be, yet now he felt more uncertain than ever.

Deanna was in the other room, but she wasn't asleep. She'd dressed for bed, but instead sat on the edge of it thinking. She'd come here to Qo'noS wanting to gain some perspective on what the future would hold for she and Worf. Deanna had to first ask herself what was it that _she_ really wanted. She and Worf's relationship has progressed almost methodically; they were colleagues, then friends, then very good friends, then they began dating, then lovers, and now… what? What did she want to happen next? If they were still together on the Enterprise things could go on like this indefinitely. But they weren't. The question was, was what they had strong enough to make it through the state of limbo their lives were in right now? Or was it time to just call it and move on?

She stood slowly and walking into the living area where Worf sat. Even as her footsteps brought her closer to him and she sat down next to him Deanna still wasn't sure what she was going to say until it came out of her mouth, "Worf… I think it's time for me to go."

Worf seemed almost unfazed by her words, as if he were expecting them. His gaze remained fixed on the city in front of him.

"You have some big decisions to make and I am worried that your desire to do the honorable thing by me is standing in the way of doing what is best for you. You're too good of a man to tell me to leave, so I'm doing it for you."

Worf looked down at his hands, "Deanna, I-"

She put her hand up, "Please, don't deny it, You need your space to sort through all this. And, let's face it, I don't belong here anymore than you would on Betazed."

Worf smirked, "On that we can agree," he paused, "Is that where you're going?"

She nodded, "There's a transport ship leaving for Starbase 34 tomorrow morning. I can get to Betazed easily from there."

"How long will you stay?"

"I don't know... How long will you stay here?" Deanna countered.

"What if," Worf took a breath before continuing, "What if I decide to stay here permanently?"

Deanna put on the best smile she could as she reached up and stroked his hair fondly, "If we are meant to be, then we will find a way back to each other."

Silence.

"Deanna, our time together has meant a lot to me. I had closed myself off to the idea of being with someone but you have shown me that it is still possible for me. I will forever be grateful for that."

 _He is saying goodbye_ , Deanna thought to herself, _and not just for now_.

"This doesn't have to be the end, Worf. We are just putting things on hold for now."

"I know... but I feel it needs to be said nonetheless. I have valued what we have a great deal."

Worf's emotions were clear as a bell right now- he felt relieved. That in itself made tears well in Deanna's eyes, tears she did her best to hold back. There was no fighting, no pleading, and no impassioned appeals to make things work between them. She said she was leaving and he said okay. Deanna had expected him to object maybe just a little bit.

"As have I."

"Will you be returning to the Enterprise when it is completed?"

Just then she knew that's what he wanted her to do. The plan to get married and apply for a new post elsewhere had been her idea, not his. It wasn't what he wanted and if she was being honest with herself if wasn't what she wanted either.

"Yes, yes I will. I hope you will as well."

Worf was quiet. He couldn't answer her and she didn't expect him to.

"Alexander is not going to be happy about this," Worf said offhandedly.

Everything between them always seemed to come back to Alexander. Deanna placed her hand on his knee, " _You_ are his father. You will know what to do."

"You have been such a help to me with him. We could not have come as far as I have without you."

Deanna lowered his eyes, "I sometimes think our shared concern for him is what brought us together," she said quietly.

Judging by her tone, Worf determined that Deanna wasn't thrilled about the truth of what she just said. He knew he needed to find a way to reassure her that they would have come together on their own regardless. But he couldn't because she was right.

"What time does your transport leave tomorrow?"

"Early. I should probably get some sleep."

Worf nodded, "You take the bed. I will sleep here."

Deanna's eyes widened, "Are you sure?"

"I insist."

Deanna rose to her feet and Worf did as well out of respect, "Well then, good night Worf."

"Good night."

The tension between the two of them was palpable. She needed to touch him, hug him, something to let her know this hadn't all been for naught. Surprisingly, it was Worf that made the first move. His large frame loomed over hers as he stepped closer to her. Worf reached for her, pulling her into him and bending to kiss her mouth gently. When their lips parted, Deanna took a few steps backward before whispering good night one last time.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

 _ **Author's note: I never liked how Alexander's absence, then reappearance, on DS9 was handled. When we last saw him and his father on TNG, their relationship was improving. Then we were led to believe that somehow all fell apart without any explanation. With this chapter, I wanted to establish what could have happened to put a wedge between the two of them.**_

* * *

 _Dear Alexander,_

 _I am going to be going away for a while. I have decided to use the free time that we have while awaiting our next assignment to visit with my mother. I am certain she'll be excited to hear how much you have grown and matured! I am sorry that I did not get to say goodbye in person, my transport left early and I did not want to wake you. It may be some time before we see each other again but please know that you can always call or write me whenever you'd like. Take this time to get to know your culture, it means a lot to your father and I think when you are older you'll be happy that you did. Know that I am always thinking of you._

 _-Deanna_

Alexander read the note Counselor Troi left for him three times. It sounded like a break-up letter, not that he'd ever received on of those. He had a dozen questions, but they all led back to one answer- his father. His father must have sent her away. There is no other reason that Deanna would have left so hastily.

The young Klingon boy looked around his room in the suite they'd been occupying for a little over a week. He had to admit, he kind of liked being here. He never thought much of all this "Klingon stuff" but this hadn't been bad. That said, this was not his home and Alexander was ready to know what his father was planning for them next.

Worf sat at the desk of the suite; he was focusing intently on whatever was on the display screen in front of him. He looked up when he saw Alexander enter the room, "Alexander, you are awake. There are some things we need to discuss."

"I know about Counselor Troi." Alexander stated.

"You do?"

He held up the padd in his hand, "She wrote to me. What is going on?"

"I have decided that you and I will spend the remainder of our time on Qo'noS at our family's home."

"What?!" the boy exclaimed, "Why? For how long? When did you decide this? Is this why Counselor Troi left?"

"Counselor Troi's departure is none of your concern."

"None of my concern? She's the only person from home that's been with us since the Enterprise was destroyed and I'm not supposed to be concerned that she's gone?"

Worf had been dreading this conversation all night. Deanna was usually the person who would help him navigate sensitive topics with his son but, she was gone.

"It is not your place to question what goes on between she and I," Worf knew Deanna would not have approved of that response, but the reality was he couldn't explain what he didn't quite understand himself.

Alexander could feel the anger rising in his chest. He clenched his small fists into tight balls, "I hate when you get like this."

"Excuse me?"

"Why can't you talk to me? Why can't you just answer a question like a normal person?"

"A Klingon does not have to explain himself to his child."

Alexander groaned, "Here we go. Is that why she left? She wasn't Klingon enough for all this?"

Now it was Worf's whose anger rose, "Take care how you speak to me, Alexander..." he warned.

"Did you send her away so we could go live at Kurn's house?"

"No," Worf answered honestly, "I did not."

"Then what happened!?"

"I will not answer to you!" Worf jumped to his feet and barked in frustration, "Now ready your belongings so we can go!"

"No."

"Excuse me?"

"You and I will never work without Deanna. I am not going anywhere with you without her."

Worf looked at the boy who stood half his height and had the nerve to glare up at his own father like he was his equal. Worf knew he was right, Deanna was the glue that held their fragile relationship together. He had made great strides with his son, but only because of her guidance and counsel. Without it he was lost.

"She is gone," Worf calmed his voice and tried to reply compassionately, "And I am sorry for that."

"Then I am going too."

Now it was Worf's turn to be surprised, "What did you say?"

"I am not staying here and living out your Klingon dreams. We need to get back to our real lives. If you won't then I will."

"And where do you think you'll go?"

"Back to Grandmother and Grandfather."

Worf shook his head, "They are in no position to raise another child, she said so years ago."

"I'm older now, I can take care of myself. If not there, I'll find somewhere else to go. You can send me to a boarding school, you've been trying to get rid of me since my mother died anyway."

Worf's anger was being replaced by despair, "I do not want to send you away, Alexander. I want to show you the possibilities for our life here."

"No. I'm not staying here any longer," Alexander could be just as stubborn as his mother once was. And just like with his mother, Worf's patience for it was short.

"Fine. If that is what you wish, I will arrange transport."

"Fine."

"When I have decided where our next home will be, I will send for you."

"Fine."

Alexander turned on his heel and went back to his room.

* * *

"This is a good thing, brother. A very good thing."

Worf and Kurn stood together on the rear balcony of the house that was once the Duras' but now was theirs. They stood side by side, the expansive view of their lands before them. The sun was setting in the distance, creating brilliant colors in the sky.

"I have been away for too long," Worf admitted.

"You are here now. We will begin first thing tomorrow morning granting you security access to all our systems. I will arrange briefings with all the commanders of our various holdings to bring you up to speed on each one of them. It will take time to integrate you into the daily workings of our House, in addition to our council duties, but I am honored to finally have you by my side."

Worf swallowed. He did not want to admit to his younger brother that it was all somewhat overwhelming. The idea that they had "holdings" and "systems" was daunting. But this was what it meant to be the leader of a Great House. It was not just a title, there was a lot that went into it.

"Your son will one day join us," Kurn said hopefully, "It may take him time, the same way it did for you, but he will take his rightful place. And I pray that I will soon have my own sons and daughters to stand beside him."

Worf bristled at the mention of Alexander, but he said nothing. He knew Kurn meant well.

"Kurn, might I have a moment please?"

The men turned to see J'Mila standing behind them. Her eyes briefly lowered respectfully when Worf looked at her.

"Of course, my love. Excuse us, Brother."

The two walked into the house and down one of the long corridors, "Has Worf decided to stay with us permanently?" She asked.

"He has not said, but I think it is inevitable. He is understandably troubled over his son's decision to leave."

"A Klingon father should not have given his son the choice," J'Mila replied.

"Worf has lived a life and undergone hardships I cannot imagine. Integrating into this life will not be easy for him. Do not be so quick to judge."

"Yes, of course," she took a breath, "That is why I wanted to speak with you. Perhaps I can be helpful with that."

"How so?"

"Well," she began, choosing her words carefully, "The Federation woman… I imagine she still occupies at least a part of Worf's thoughts…"

"Yes, I imagine so."

"Perhaps he needs something to take his mind off her, and put his focus where it belongs."

"What did you have in mind?"

"It would not take long for a Klingon woman to make him forget all about her and ensure that he wanted to be nowhere else but here," J'Mila replied with a smirk.

"Yes, yes, I agree," Kurn replied, "Do you have someone in mind?"

"I do."

Kurn stopped walking and faced his wife, "J'Mila, I know what this will mean for you. If Worf stays here and marries, his wife will by rights take on the role you have assumed."

Of course she knew that, that's exactly why she was doing this. If he stayed, Worf finding a Klingon mate was inevitable. If she left it to chance, J'Mila would find herself subordinate to whomever he fell for. But if she chose who that person was, then she could maintain the upper hand. J'Mila knew exactly the kind of woman that needed to be. Not a high born woman like herself, but someone so in awe and overwhelmed with their lifestyle that she'd have to defer to J'Mila's counsel.

"My loyalty is to the House of Mogh and not to myself," J'Mila answered, "It is an honor serving this House in whatever my role might be. I do not do it for personal glory."

Kurn smiled, then leaned forward to kiss her forehead, "How I managed to marry a woman as loyal and honorable as you I will never know."

* * *

The best seats in the opera house were reserved for the Chancellor and members of the High Council. When they took their seats, the rest of the audience gave them a rousing applause. J'Mila and Kurn stepped forward and waved to the crowds below. Worf hung back, not at all accustomed to this level of attention.

Worf tried to concentrate; Barak Kadan was performing and he had never heard him live before. However, his attention was taken by the woman J'Mila had introduced him to not long after he moved into their house, the woman who sat next to him tonight. Her name was Lirana and J'Mila had been more excited about her than Worf had seen her about anything. Worf knew what they were doing- they wanted to take his mind off Deanna Troi by putting a Klingon woman in front of him. Worf, not wanting to be rude, engaged in small talk with her, sat next to her at dinner and offered her his hand as they climbed the steps to their seats tonight.

The last few weeks were like a blur for Worf. Each day, Kurn introduced him to someone knew. They went over books and balance sheets, crew manifests and property deals. He met a litany of people he knew he'd never remember. They settled disputes among both their fleet commanders and High Council members. He barely had time to think about anything, let alone Deanna. She'd written him to let him know she made it to Betazed safely. He told her he'd moved to Kurn's- _his_ \- house and that he was doing well. He left out the fact that Alexander had gone back to Earth.

And now he was sitting in the best seats of the best opera house listening to the best singer in the entire Empire with a beautiful young woman sitting next to him, a woman he knew would do just about anything to be his wife.

And he couldn't bring himself to be happy about any of it.

* * *

"Mistress J'Mila, please come in," Lirana bowed respectfully and stepped aside so J'Mila could enter her home, "I apologize, I was not expecting you."

J'Mila entered the small home that was inhabited by Lirana, her father and her four younger siblings. Lirana's mother had died giving birth to the last one and the family struggled on these lands for years. Lirana shooed the littles ones away and pulled out a chair for J'Mila. She took a seat, trying her best not to show her distain at having to bring herself to such a place.

"No apologies are needed. Did you enjoy the opera last week?"

"Oh yes, Mistress, very much. I could never have dreamed of visiting the opera house in the First City. To be there with you all, it was an honor."

"Have you seen Worf since then?"

"Yes," she nodded quickly, "He came here once. He asked quite a few questions about how we live and what exactly it is our family does for yours- for his I mean."

J'Mila frowned, "Did the two of you spend any time together?"

"Yes, ma'am," Lirana nodded quickly, "I showed him some of the farming equipment that father and I help to maintain when I am not caring for the children."

"Farming equipment?" J'Mila sighed. Perhaps she'd stooped too low with this one. J'Mila would most certainly be able to control her, but she might be too simple to catch Worf's eyes, "Do you remember what we discussed when I first came to you?"

"Yes, I do. You said that your husband's brother was living here now and was looking for a wife but that he was not very good with women and would need some help."

"That's right. And if he chooses you, then you'd be the wife of a noble and high-born Klingon. Almost equal to me."

"Yes ma'am."

"Do you think talks of farming equipment will make that happen?"

Lirana shook her head, "No ma'am."

J'Mila sighed, "Tomorrow night we are having a banquet at our home. I will send for you beforehand so that you can get ready for it in my chambers," J'Mila stood and spoke directly to her, "You are a beautiful girl, Lirana. If you are willing to do what it takes, you will have no worries for the rest of your life. Your father and your siblings will all live to a standard you can only dream of. If you do what it takes. Do you understand what I am saying to you?"

"Yes, yes I do."

"Good. I will see you tomorrow."

* * *

"I think you and I will have the most glorious women of the night on our arms," Kurn said to his brother. Worf could see J'Mila coming towards them in the distance with Lirana trying her best to keep up the pace beside her.

"It would seem so," Worf replied flatly.

"What do you think of Lirana?"

"She is... young."

"Which means there could be many years of children ahead for you. J'Mila is always thinking of the future of this family, you know."

"Lirana has much to learn about our way of life," Worf paused, "Then again, so do I," he added quietly.

J'Mila and Lirana stood before them, "Good evening," J'Mila began, "Worf, I truly hope everything I have planned for this evening pleases you. This is a celebration of you being back home where you belong," she glanced at Lirana, "And I do mean everything."

"You have been most welcoming to me, I cannot thank you enough."

"Your presence here is enough. Let us get ready, our guests should begin arriving shortly.

Worf had seen Klingon parties before, but they were mostly the drunken revelry of soldiers celebrating battle. This was entirely different. Not that the blood wine didn't flow freely- it did, numerous vintages- but this was a sampling of all the best of Klingon nobility. And all of them were here for him. It did not take long for every corner of the house to be filled. The hypocrisy of how many of these people watched him face discommendation in the council chambers just six years ago was not lost on him. Now they were drinking in his house like they liked him.

Lirana clung to him like a frightened child, and in all honesty he was glad to have her there. Tending to her distracted him from everything else going on, "If I have not told you tonight how amazing you look, then I have been remiss."

She blushed and lowered her eyes nervously, "Thank you. I must admit, I have never done anything like this. My friends couldn't believe I was coming here as a guest and not a servant."

"I am not exactly accustomed to these things myself," Worf admitted.

"We could go someplace quiet," Lirana began, "Perhaps continue to get to know one another."

Worf looked down into her innocent eyes. If he had to picture the most quintessentially beautiful Klingon women he'd ever seen, it would be Lirana. In that regard, J'Mila had chosen well. He could not help but be attracted to her, even if they had virtually nothing in common.

The two of them stepped out onto that expansive terrace that was quickly becoming Worf's favorite part of the house. The view of the estate was quite different at night, the small houses in the distance were like little points of light dotting the black landscape.

"It looks very different from here," she whispered.

"Which one is yours?" Worf asked.

"It is hard to tell…probably that one," Lirana said, pointing toward the right.

"Have you ever left Qo'noS?" Worf asked her.

She laughed, "Until I went to the opera last week with you I'd never even left this province."

"Would you, if you could?"

"Up there?" she asked, pointing towards the stars, "Oh no. This is my home. If I had to I suppose I would, but just being here is all I need."

Worf was quiet.

"Do you miss it? Traveling amongst the stars?" Lirana asked.

"Yes, I do," he admitted for the first time, "Up there, I know what to do."

"Perhaps you will again," she said, "After all, your family owns many ships."

"Yes, yes we do," Worf replied.

"For some reason, I think it is more than the stars that you miss."

"My son… and someone else as well."

"A woman," she answered for him.

Worf was caught off guard by her direct response, "Um, well, I…"

Lirana took his hand in hers and brought her body close to his, "I know that I am not her. But I also know that it was she who chose to leave you, something a Klingon woman would never do. My loyalty is without question. My home is here, and my place is by your side, if you will have me."

Again Worf looked into her eyes and saw nothing but sincerity. He looked back towards the party; the music and the laughter were growing louder by the minute. The doors to the terrace opened and the celebration began to spill onto their private spot.

"Not so quiet anymore," she said with a smile.

Worf's gaze rested on Lirana's face once again. This was everything he'd ever wanted. The position, the respect, the family, the woman. If you had told him as a boy, struggling the make it on a cold foreign world while surrounded by aliens that this would one day be his life, he would never have believed it. Worf could feel his heart pounding nervously in his chest. This was what he'd wanted and yet… he couldn't silence the doubt that kept creeping back in.

 _No_ , he said to himself, _I deserve this. All of this._

"I know of another place," Worf said, "Come with me…"

Out of the corner of her eye, J'Mila could see Worf and Lirana quietly escaping toward the direction of his bed chamber. She ordered one of the servants to deliver food and freshly chilled blood wine to his room, and not to let their glasses empty.

* * *

Worf could really go for a glass of prune juice right now. In Ten-Forward. Maybe he'd stand at the window, gazing out and pretending he wanted to be alone, yet at the same time being grateful for Guinan's insightful banter. Those days were gone, and would probably never return again.

Instead, he sat in this monstrosity of a house, the signs of last night's raucous party all around him. Even at that early hour, servants were already working to put everything back the way it had been before. The air felt stale, so Worf decided to find his favorite spot on the terrace one more time. It was very early, and the rising sunshine cast long shadows at his feet. Sunrise here was breathtaking. Almost as good as the view from Ten-Forward.

"So, what did you think?"

Kurn's voice bellowed from behind Worf, who kept his gaze focused on the horizon, "It is clear that you have made quite an impression on the other Great Houses of the Empire. That they would all gather to celebrate here is remarkable."

"I do it in our name, for the glory of our House. The honor is never my own."

Spoken like the perfect younger brother. Worf shook his head, "No, this is all yours. I cannot share the credit."

"Then at least take joy in it," Kurn replied, "You seem to last night…"

Worf tensed, his hands clutched the railings tightly.

"I didn't expect to see you up this early. Has Lirana left already?" Kurn continued.

Worf sighed. Kurn clearly knew what happened so there was no use denying it, "No."

"Then what are you doing out here?"

"I… was not myself last night. I let the festivities and the blood wine go to my head."

Kurn laughed, "Is that your way of saying you were drunk and now you regret the woman you took to your bed?"

Worf was not used to speaking of such things so freely. But Kurn was his brother, and moreover, he was right, "Yes."

He laughed again, "Oh well. Hopefully you had some fun at least."

"My actions were self-serving and were without honor. I am ashamed of how I allowed myself to behave. A Klingon does not-"

"Where exactly do you get all these Klingon platitudes? I do not think a single one of us could live up to the standards you hold for yourself."

Worf was quiet for a long while before speaking, "If I did not have all this, if I were just Lieutenant Commander Worf, firing phasors for Captain Picard, do you think that woman would be in my bed right now?"

"Worf, what are you talking about?"

"This," he outstretched his hand, "All this defines who were are now. Would Lirana have bothered dressing herself up to be a miniature version of your wife had it not been for all this?"

"This is who were are now, Worf."

"Those people last night… How many of them were part of the lie that cost our father his name, and almost cost me my life?"

"Is that what this is about?" Kurn asked, "Are you still angry with them? I am not in love with any of them myself, but I know in order to maintain all this, I have to play by their rules."

"Play… it is all just a game, is it not? How long will this last? How long before we fall out of their favor again? And what then?" Worf ranted, "If all of this were gone, what would become of Lirana? Or J'Mila for that matter."

Kurn narrowed his eyes, "You question my wife's loyalty to our House?"

"No, not at all. I know she is loyal to this House. And to the servants and the position and the status. But is she loyal to _you_? Would she be with you if this were all gone?"

"You regretting taking Lirana to your bed is one thing, but dishonoring my wife is quite another!" Kurn's voice rose in defense of his wife, "She brought Lirana to you to try to help you get over the Federation woman and to show you what could be yours if you'd just open yourself up to the possibilities. If you didn't like her, fine. There are others."

"No," Worf shook his head, "I must face what I have done with her. Her family will expect that we take The Oath."

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that. As much as her father would love to have his daughter marry into a great House, he would not dare challenge you on it. They are low born and we are noble. Marry her if you want to, but it is not expected."

"So because she is a commoner, her honor has no meaning?"

Kurn frowned, "That is the way of things and Lirana knew that when she went to your bedchamber. If it will make you feel better, her father has a lot of debt owed to us. I will dismiss it as a favor from you."

"So instead her honor has a price?"

Kurn was getting impatient, "Or you can marry her. It will satisfy your honor, she will be Mistress of a Great House and you will be miserable. Which is what I think you prefer anyway."

The two stood there in another long silence before Worf spoke again, "I do not belong here," he finally admitted, though more to the sunrise than to Kurn.

"Yes, Worf, you do. You always have," Kurn placed his hand on his brother's shoulder, "It pains me to hear you say otherwise. You have been away since you were just a small boy. The only way to overcome that is to simply be here now. Perhaps Lirana was too much, too fast. J'Mila and I meant no disrespect by bringing her to you."

Kurn had a deep affection for his older brother that Worf didn't truly understand. They had only known each other for six years, not a lifetime like most brothers. Kurn challenged Worf when they first met and even though Kurn had long moved past that, Worf always felt like he had something to prove to his younger brother.

"I want to belong. I always have," Worf admitted, allowing himself to be more vulnerable than he ever had with his brother.

"Our father would want you here, living the life that he could not."

Worf shook his head, "My own son does not even want to be here."

"You must make him. He is unsure, just as you are. But Alexander is Klingon, I have seen the call of the warrior in his eyes. In time, you both will realize there is no other place where you truly belong."

Starfleet. The Enterprise. Deanna Troi. He'd have to leave all that behind if he stayed.

"You are thinking of the Federation woman," Kurn said definitively.

Worf let his silence be his answer.

"There are other woman Worf," Kurn repeated, "Women who would do anything for the honor of being your wife. Women who would bear you many children."

"I need… time."

"More than you have had?"

"I need a place where I can focus…" Worf thought a moment, "I will go to Boreth."

"Boreth? The monastery?"

"Time there will allow me to focus myself free of any…" Worf looked back towards the house, "Distractions."

Kurn laughed, knowing full well the distractions Worf was alluding to, "Very well, Brother. You take as long as you need to freeze at that monastery. Your home will be waiting when you are ready."

Worf contacted his parents and told them of his plan to go to Boreth. He asked if Alexander could finish the school term there with them. They were happy to have him, things were going better this time than when he'd lived with them as a young child. His parents did not ask about Deanna, which meant they had to know she was gone and didn't want to upset him by prying.

Deanna. She was on Betazed finishing out her leave by training some Starfleet Academy prospects. Worf started to call her three times but couldn't bring himself to do it. He was worried she'd somehow sense that he'd been with another woman. He decided that writing her would be better. He started that more times than he could count but could ever find the right words.

By the time Captain Benjamin Sisko of Deep Space Nine called for him to serve on a special assignment, an assignment that would ultimately change the course of his life, Worf still hadn't finished that letter.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7- Epilogue**

 _ **Author's note: The stardate of "First Contact" is 50893.5, which puts it towards the end of DS9's 5th season, even though in real time the movie was released in theaters towards the beginning of the season. I am using the in-universe stardate timing, which means that the events of the Enterprise-E engaging the Borg happen sometime after "Children of Time" and not long before Worf and Jadzia agree to marry in the DS9 5th season finale.**_

* * *

 _2373_

Home. For the first time in as long as he could remember, Worf felt like he was home. Not because he was on Earth or Qo'noS. Nor because he was on the Enterprise, or DS9, or even the Defiant. Worf was home because he was with Jadzia Dax. They'd found their way to his tiny quarters on the Defiant after leaving the transporter room on the Enterprise- E. Thankfully the damage to this deck of the Defiant was minimal and there were no work crews to interrupt their reunion. These quarters were where he lived when the Defiant was docked at DS9 because he preferred it to living on the station. At least that was the case at first. These days he spent quite a bit of time on the station, specifically in the crew quarters of his par'Mach'kai.

Right now they were making the best of the tight space. Jadzia was perched on his small desk with Worf standing before her, her arms wrapped around him and his wrapped around her in return. It was a week ago that Worf had taken the Defiant out on training exercises with the junior crewmen. While they were out, the ship was unexpectedly called to defend Earth against a Borg attack. The Enterprise joined the attack and when the Defiant was disabled, Worf and the crew were beamed aboard.

"So you missed, me, huh?" Jadzia said breathlessly as their lips parted.

"More than you can know."

"Is that so..." her hands reached for the waistband of his uniform as she whispered seductively, "Then how about you show me?"

As much as he was aching to do just that, Worf instead took her hands in his, "Jadzia, there is something I wish to say to you…"

Her brow furrowed slightly with worry, "What is it?"

"I," Worf took a deep breath, "I want you to be my wife."

Jadzia sighed, "Worf, do we have to do this now? I do not want to argue with you about this today."

"Please, hear me. I know that when you and I first came together, I insisted upon marriage to keep with Klingon customs."

"And I made it clear that I'm not going to marry anyone just to satisfy some outdated tradition," Jadzia replied defensively.

"Nor should you. You were right to say no to me then. We were not ready, we did not have what we do now. I ask now not out of tradition, but for no other reason than because I love you. And because there is no version of my life that I can imagine that does not have you in it."

About a month ago on their ill-fated mission to Gaia, the crew came face to face with a possible future that never came to fruition. While they were there, Jadzia got the unique opportunity of speaking to a future (or was it past?) host who had memories of marrying and building a life with Worf. A good life. It was the first time she'd allowed herself to really accept the possibility that this thing with Worf could last the rest of her life, and that she would be happy if it did.

"Worf, I don't know what to say…"

"You could say yes."

There was still so much to consider. Just the logistics of the two of them, both Starfleet officers dedicated to their work, being married had to be discussed. "Worf, it's not that simple. What about our careers? What if one of us is reassigned? Or promoted? What if you want to go live in the Empire or if I want to go back to Trill?"

"I am willing to do whatever and to go wherever life takes us."

Worf had always been open with her, but Jadzia had never heard such rawness, such vulnerability in his voice before. He meant every word he was saying without question.

Tenderly, Jadzia placed a hand on his broad chest, "Worf, I'm not ready to say yes to you just yet," she began quietly. After a pause, she looked into those dark, emotional eyes of his, "But I am not saying no either."

Worf nodded, "Then I will wait. I will wait as long as you need."

"I do love you, very much."

"I know you do," Worf said with a smirk, "That is why I am willing to wait."

She shook her head and grinned, "What am I going to do with you?"

"You could marry me."

That put a smirk on her lips, "Besides that."

Worf lowered his voice. "Let me show you how much I missed you…"

"Ahhh, now that I can do."

* * *

After being at Utopia Planitia shipyards for a few more days, the Defiant was in good enough shape to make the trip back to Deep Space Nine. Chief O'Brien could oversee the rest of the repairs from there. The night before the crew was scheduled to head back to the Bajoran sector, the senior staff of the Enterprise-E put together a small reception for Worf and Miles as a way to both welcome them back and say goodbye to them again. Jadzia had at first planned to stay on the Defiant with the rest of its crew but Worf insisted she accompany him. She agreed and Worf hadn't left her side the whole time.

"What's going on with you tonight?"

"Nothing," he replied without looking at her.

"You seem anxious."

"How long do you think we have to stay?"

"These are _your_ friends Worf. You have told me yourself this crew was like a family to you."

Worf sighed. Captain Picard was seated in a chair with Counselor Troi on his left and Dr. Crusher on his right, the three of them chattering away. A few paces beyond them, Commanders Riker, Data and LaForge stood with Chief O'Brien, laughing at some old story about a holodeck.

"They are," Worf replied, "But it is as if nothing has changed for any of them. My life has moved forward, and being here with them feels like going back in time. I enjoyed my time on the Enterprise but, that time has passed. And this is not _my_ Enterprise."

That made perfect sense to Dax, "I get it. And no one is happier that you decided to move on than me. But that doesn't mean you can't be a little nostalgic with them for old time's sake."

"A warrior does not dwell on the past."

"Save it, Worf," Dax said with an eye roll. Go talk to your friends. You and I see each other all the time."

He conceded and walked over to Chief O'Brien and the others to join in on the reminiscing. Jadzia absently wandered over to one of the view ports and looked out onto the shipyard while taking a sip from her glass.

"I bet your view on the space station is very different from this."

Jadzia turned her head and saw Counselor Troi standing there next to her, "Not really, we have ships docked all the time. They're just all complete. And not all Starfleet issued."

Deanna smiled nervously. She wasn't quite sure why she'd felt compelled to come talk to Worf's companion for the evening. When she saw the Trill standing alone at the windows she figured now would probably be the only chance she ever got to speak to her. What she wanted to say, she had no idea. Deanna really just wanted to know something, anything, about this mysterious woman that had, for lack of a better term, swept Worf off his feet.

"I'm sure you'll be happy to be back home."

Jadzia could recognize awkward small talk when she heard it and decided to play along, "Oh yes. It will be nice to get back to life as usual."

"Thank you for coming this evening. I put this together for Worf and Chief O'Brien since they served with us for so long, but I am glad Worf brought you along as well."

 _Oh, so this was her idea_ , Jadzia thought to herself. Worf had told Jadzia all about his relationship with Deanna Troi. Now this was making more sense, "I feel a bit like a third wheel," Jadzia began, "I wanted to give him his space to catch up with all of you but Worf insisted that I come," Jadzia put emphasis on 'insisted' so Deanna would know without question where his loyalties lie.

Confidence was the emotion Deanna could sense from Dax the most. It bordered on cockiness, which surprised Troi given how humble and modest Worf could be. Deanna could tell that Jadzia knew way more about her than she knew about Dax and what was worse was that Jadzia knew it. Dax was a joined Trill, a wise one at that, whose collective life experiences were worth more than all Deanna's empathic abilities. Troi knew the only way to approach this was to be straightforward and honest, Dax would be able to see right through anything else.

"I came over here because I wanted to talk to you about Worf."

"Why don't you talk to Worf about Worf?"

"He is so guarded with me now and I couldn't figure out why" Deanna began, "Until I met you."

"What would you like to know?"

There was so much that she wanted to know, most of which was completely unreasonable to even ask Dax. Deanna thought for a moment before finally asking, "Is he happy?"

Her question caught Jadzia off guard. She wasn't sure what she was expecting the counselor to ask, but something as simple as that definitely wasn't it, "Is he happy?" she repeated.

"He's been through so much," Deanna cast her gaze towards the group of men where Worf stood, and then back to Commander Dax, "He was my friend for many years and I grew to care about him very much. I heard of all the things that have happened to him, his son going back to Earth and then all the issues with the Klingon Empire, and I have been so worried. He has been through so much already, I feel so sorry for him."

Jadzia frowned. One thing she knew more than anything about Worf was that he despised pity, most Klingons did. To them, feeling sorry for a person means you think their weaknesses were greater than their strength to overcome them. How someone who had supposedly been close to him for so long wouldn't know that seemed odd, "You don't have to feel sorry for him," Dax replied, "Yes, Worf has had a rough few years. He lost a lot when he went against Gowron and the Empire. But he kept going, as he has his entire life, and has found success in new places," It was Jadzia's turn to look in Worf's direction, but instead of pity, she felt pride.

Deanna shook her head, "I did not mean any offense-"

"Oh, I know you didn't. Feeling sorry for someone who has had to endure all Worf has is a reasonable response for most. Just not for him."

"You love him very much." Counselor Troi's words were a declaration, not a question.

Jadzia blushed and lowered her eyes momentarily, "I do. And I apologize for coming off so defensively. He has been through a lot, more than you probably know, and I'm very protective of him."

"I'm sure you know this already but he loves you too," Deanna paused, letting the realization sink in, "Very much."

Dax knew Counselor Troi was an empath, so her words were not merely speculation, "He can sometimes be a hard man to love," Jadzia admitted honestly.

The two women were quiet for a moment because Counselor Troi spoke up again, "This might seem like an odd question… you might not even know what I am talking about…"

"Yes?"

Deanna hesitated even asking this, but she might as well at this point, "Has Worf ever told you what happened to him on Gault? Something that caused the family to leave?"

Jadzia frowned. Worf had never hesitated to share things about himself with her, even before the were a couple. She knew exactly what Deanna was referring to and couldn't figure out why she'd bring up such a thing right now, "You mean the colony he lived on until he was thirteen?" Dax replied with a whisper. Worf would never want this to be common knowledge.

"Yes. Then you know?"

"Yes, but-" Jadzia stopped before revealing anything else, "Why do you ask?"

Troi shook her head, "He would never tell me. It was too personal and he didn't trust me with it."

Just then, Jadzia realized what it was that Counselor Troi was after; she needed closure. And Jadzia was not the person to give it to her, "Counselor, wait right here for a moment."

Dax left the window and walked over to the group men Worf was standing with, "Excuse me, boys. Worf, there is someone I think you need to speak to."

Worf looked to where Jadzia was motioning and his eyes widened like she had never seen before. His mouth opened wordlessly, his whole body was screaming _No way_. Jadzia could read him as if she were the empath and she squeezed his hand, "Please." she said definitively and in a way that made it clear she wasn't asking him, she was telling him.

"Deanna."

She smiled and shook her head, "I can't believe she made you come over here."

"That is Jadzia."

"She definitely knows you."

"She does," Worf paused, he could feel the eyes on them, "Perhaps we should step into the corridor.

"Yes."

Once the doors swished closed they both breathed a sigh of relief and their shoulders relaxed. Worf spoke first, saying the thing he'd needed to say for two years now, "Deanna, I am truly sorry."

She could feel tears welling in her eyes that came from emotions she thought she'd dealt with long ago, "You don't have anything to be sorry about. We were never meant to be. We wanted to make something work that just wasn't supposed to."

"I agree… but I am sorry nonetheless. If I caused you pain in any way please know that was never my intention."

All the things she'd wanted to ask him just didn't seem to matter anymore. She knew why he never contacted her, it was the same reason she hadn't contacted him. She knew why he accepted the post on DS9. She knew why they weren't together anymore.

"I am genuinely happy that you have found someone to love."

"You already have that someone. You always have."

Deanna felt her chest tighten, "What are you talking about?"

"I do not know why you and Commander Riker continue to deny what is obvious to everyone around you. He is your par'Mach'kai, your…" Worf tried to remember the Betazoid word Deanna has taught him, "Your Imzadi. It was never me."

"It's complicated, Worf-"

"No," he replied, his voice sounding almost angry, "It is not. If anyone knows about what is complicated, it is me. Yet when it comes to Jadzia, things could not be simpler. I love her and everything else falls in line behind that."

"I suppose he and I just aren't there yet."

"Then he is a fool."

"Perhaps," Deanna smiled, "But he's my fool."

The two reached out and hugged one another, the way they would have years ago when they were just two friends serving together on the Enterprise-D.

"I think it's time for me to say goodnight. If you don't mind making my apologies to the others..."

"Of course."

Deanna took his hand in hers one last time. His larger hand seemed to swallow her petite one, "Goodbye, Worf."

"We will see one another again."

She nodded, "I'm sure we will. But this is goodbye nonetheless."

He nodded as well, he knew what she meant, "Yes, it is. Goodbye, Deanna."

Counselor Troi headed down the long corridor and Worf watched her until she rounded a corner and was out of sight. He decided to see if he could pull Jadzia away from the party, which was never an easy thing to do. Worf was ready to call it a night as well. It was time to go home.

~finis

February 2, 2017

* * *

 _A little trivia for my FanFic readers… what did happen on Gault when Worf was 13? I put this in the story because I felt like the moment where Worf shares this with Jadzia was a turning point for them. It was clear that he'd never opened up to anyone else the way he was opening up to her and that to me was the big difference between his relationship with Jadzia vs. Deanna._


End file.
